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Bottled Up Rage

by Danny
(Key West, Florida)

I know I have uncontrolled anger when I take it out on someone or something. Like the other night, I was mad at many people and the thing is with me I don't do anything to anyone. I bottle and bottle it up and someone comes along and opens the bottle releasing all my rage on that guy.

I hit a friend and wouldn't stop until other friends pulled me off. The kid had a bloody face and I felt so depressed after it and I asked my self why am I so angry at the little things. I took it out on a friend who said the wrong thing at the right time.

I know I have issues, but like I said I only resort to physical violence when someone opens my bottle of built up rage. It even cost me my girl friend when I took everything out on her guy friend and pummeled him. He was a nice kid and didn't have problems with anyone. He said my girlfriend looked sexy, and even though he was openly gay--and I mean legit homosexual.

I opened my bottle and unleashed every bit of anger I had on him. To this day I still regret the day I pummeled him. It felt good while unleashing, but after I got pulled off and saw the damage I had done, I thought of myself as a monster who can't control himself.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Danny, and thanks for telling your story here. You're not alone with your problem. Others have experienced similar feelings and behaviors.

Take a look at this story, and read my response. You will find that my recommendations to this person will work for you as well.

Why Do I Actually Attack People?

Follow the recommendations I make in this story, and you will get the control you're looking for.

Believe in yourself Danny. You're a good person, and that's why the anger and aggression bothers you. It doesn't match up with who you are.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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I Need Someone's Help

by Amber

My boyfriend and I have not been doing so great. We get into these arguments, and I get so upset, I end up hitting myself. I have slammed my head on pavement, against my window of my car, and I punch my face.

I do all of the angry acts, and I do not understand where it comes from. I feel like I am becoming this crazy person. I have panic attacks from crying hysterically.

I have never done this before, and I don't know why I all of a sudden have the angry acts.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Amber, and thanks for telling your story here. I'm glad you reached out here for help. It is important that you stop hurting yourself. I don't know if you have the focus to do this, but what I want you to do is the three journaling processes described on this page. This will help you review your past pain and trauma, which is where this emotion and behavior is coming from, channel your anger and begin shifting your focus to the positive things in you and your life.

I also suggest you take a break from your relationship with your boyfriend until you get yourself healthier. When you're hurting yourself like this, you're not prepared to be in a relationship and handle the stress.

Also use this imagery technique to heal your past wounds and manage your anxiety better:

imagery processes for emotional healing

You need to heal your heart, and learn to love yourself. I suggest you begin building your self esteem right away.

You're a good person, Amber. Be compassionate and kind with the wounded child inside you. Learn to love and care for your inner child, who carries the wounds of your past and holds the anxiety of your present.

Follow my recommendations--and if you can't afford any of the products, just do the journaling and imagery exercises. You can do this.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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