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Bitter Sweet

by Charlotte

I am a 19 year old girl with Asperger’s, and I'm in a committed relationship with my boyfriend. The problem is I have severe outbursts of anger for no reason.

My boyfriend and other people describe me as a complete stranger when this happens. I become obnoxious, abusive, arrogant, and stubborn. I also use a lot of bad language.

I throw and punch things and scream and cry for hours on end and the episode lasts for days on end. I am normally a very nice and caring person and I love life and love the people in my life.

My childhood was not good as I grew up in an unstable environment with a violent brother, an abusive sister and an alcoholic mother who took her anger out on me. I also was bullied a lot, and was socially isolated for most of my teenage years.

I was sexually abused at 16 and again at 18. I'm still waiting on counseling and my partner and I are trying to find the proper help I need.

My anger can go away for weeks or months and then occur again out of the blue. It's a big worry for my partner, as he fears I will harm myself or others. I also have no memory of my outburst after it happens.

I am really lost and depressed over it because I never mean to hurt the ones close to me.

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Mar 21, 2016
You Have Good Reasons For Your Anger
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hello Charlotte - Thanks for telling your story here. I think your anger is trying to surface, so that you can release it and heal from your past emotional trauma. Your past trauma is pretty extreme, even though you may not fully realize that.

It sounds like you're in a healthy, loving relationship now, and so your anger feels that it's safe to come out. I know this is not what you want, but this is one of the ways that we heal from emotional trauma.

I highly recommend that you do the exercises on this page, which will guide you through a process of understanding and healing your anger. You can easily do this in conjunction with the counseling you will be getting.

I firmly believe that you're going to work through this successfully, Charlotte. You seem like a bright and capable young woman, and you can do whatever you set your mind to do.

And do not let your diagnosis of Asperger's hold you back. You can do this, and anything else that you powerfully set your intention to accomplish.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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