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Bar Fight

by Anonymous

I have always had a bit of a temper I think as a child. But around 11 years old I realized that picking fights or acting out my anger in a physical way towards people was not acceptable in the adult world or even as an older child.

Somehow I learned to manage my anger. Anytime I would start to feel angry I would "talk myself down" so to speak, analyze. And eventually I never noticed myself getting angry. I was seen as very easy-going and people would tell me they had a hard time picturing me getting angry.

Now recently, over the last year and a half I have felt my control slip. I have started to develop a pattern of outbursts. Saying angry things or just being angry.

I have had a couple of instances with friends and my girlfriend getting harassed when out at bars. Getting grabbed, or asses slapped (hard). So, when I was out the other day I just perceived, meaning I thought I saw or misinterpreted someone’s actions as harassing my girlfriend and I just reacted…tackling them and trying to fight them and having to get pulled away.

This kind of reaction scares me. It also makes me feel really guilty and embarrassed. Since to me, it seemed to come out of nowhere with no chance to calm myself down and a place of a lot of anger.

I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know how to prevent it from happening in the future. Now I keep thinking I am an awful person and am depressed about the whole thing. I want to get back to that younger me that was calm and easy-going.

I think it sucks that I can't change the past.

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Feb 18, 2015
You Have More Power To Change Than You Know
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hello - Just as you were successful in controlling your anger, you can succeed in healing it. And that is exactly what is needed. When you kept your anger inside, it did not go away, and it did not get healed.

By the way, when your anger is healed it does not mean you will become a wimp, it just means you will be healthy in the ways you protect yourself and those you love.

Use all of the tools described and linked to on this page. I have compiled these methods over years of practicing as a therapist, and I assure you they are effective...if you use them as recommended.

Believe in yourself.

My best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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