Anger Management For Children That Really Works For The Long Haul
Authored by William G. DeFoore, Ph.D.
Anger management for children is not usually for children--it's for adults who want to help children. I'm guessing you're an adult reading this.
The point is, it's us, we the adults, who are responsible for helping children with their anger, because they generally can't help themselves.
Right here on this page, I'm going to point you to all of the resources you need to help your children to not only manage their anger, but to be happy and feel good about themselves.
Your children need you, and they need you to be healthy and happy, to the best of your ability. So, taking good care of yourself is one of the best things you can do to help the children in your life.
Ever wonder where the anger is coming from? It's because you love your child and care about his well being that you're even curious about the cause. Let's see if we can figure that out.
Why Is This Child So Angry?
That's a good question, and a good place to start. If you don't know why the child is angry, you may not be able to help.
Let's look at some of the things that cause child anger management issues:
Temperament--Some children are born with a lot of emotional energy, and based on genetics, birth circumstances, emotional state of the mother, can be born with a certain level of agitation that makes it difficult for them to bond. This does not mean the child is bad! It just means they provide some unique challenges to parents and caregivers. Other examples in this are include ADD and ADHD, which can certainly lead to child anger management problems.
Neglect of basic emotional needs--Many parents do not understand the basic emotional needs of children, and unintentionally neglect to fulfill them. This can lead to a lot of "unexplained" anger in a child. Unmet childhood needs are a major cause of problems with anger management for children.
Verbal abuse--Also called emotional abuse and sometimes referred to as spiritual abuse, this can be devastating to a child, especially in the formative years. It is generally known as name-calling, belittling, excessive teasing, demeaning, put-downs, insults, criticism and blaming. None of this is appropriate, necessary or healthy in the process of raising a child.
Physical abuse--Hitting, pushing, pinching or rough handling of any kind is unnecessary and damaging to a child's self-worth and body image.
Sexual abuse--Most people don't understand the many forms of sexual abuse that can occur unconsciously or unintentionally between an adult and a child. Educate yourself about this important subject, as it can be a primary reason for problems with anger management for children.
Shunning and favoritism--This is a very subtle but powerful form of abuse, that is usually unconscious and unintentional on the part of parents, causing many problems with anger management for children. Common examples are when boys are favored over girls, first borns favored (or burdened with too much responsibility), one child singled out as "special," "Mama's boy," or "Daddy's little princess."A general psychological term for favored children is the "golden child."
As you can see, problems with anger management for children can come from a lot of different causes. Now let's look at some solutions to the problem.
How To Provide Anger Management For Children
Understanding the above causes is the first step to healing child anger management problems such as Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). Next we go to solutions, and there are a lot to choose from:
Be sure and deal with your own anger first. If you have anger issues of your own as a parent or caregiver, you have to deal with those before you can help your children--or at least work on them at the same time.
Learn how to talk to your child so they will listen. Our audio program featured on this page offers step by step guidelines for how to communicate for the best possible anger management for children. Want to make sure you're child is listening? Practice the skills described in the audio program with love in your heart, and you'll have their attention!
Create structure and consistency in your parenting. This is key to successful anger management for children, as it lets them know they can trust you. Trust engenders respect, which brings cooperation and compliance.
Learn specific exercises to do with your child. Our program called Helping Your Children With Their Anger gives you games, skills and tools for literally providing healthy, appropriate anger management for children.
Raise your own self esteem, then build the self esteem of your children. High self esteem is one of the best children anger management tools available.
Be sure and check out the audio CD/MP3 download below entitled Helping Your Children With Their Anger. This program will help you teach your children to become their own anger management resource! Try it at no risk, with a full money-back guarantee!
HELPING YOUR CHILDREN WITH THEIR ANGER: A Guide
For Parents of Children and Adolescents
Powerful and effective! Get the control you need and teach your children control with successful child anger management techniques.
These 2 child anger management CDs are designed to help parents understand and teach their children effective anger management skills. Listen to Dr. DeFoore as he teaches you exactly what to do