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And The Point Of That Was?

by April
(Utah, USA)

My boyfriend (at the time) and I were on our way to a Birthday party. I was following him, in my car, and had sort of an idea about where we were going. He told me just to follow him, instead of giving me the address.

I noticed a truck pull out in front of him, causing him to have to slam on his brakes. I thought to myself, what a bone head. As we approached the light, I noticed my boyfriend getting into the turn lane. I thought to myself, why is he turning? That is the opposite direction

So, I followed anyway, knowing we were already late. Not only did we turn, we flipped a U-turn at the light. Then I noticed the truck that cut him off. He was following the truck! I started to get annoyed at this point because I knew he decided to take a detour to chase down this stupid truck. I was getting more and more upset because we were heading in the opposite direction and I knew it was because of this truck.

Finally, ten miles later, my boyfriend pulls over at a gas station parking lot. I got out of my car and ran up to his asking what was going on, and why were we going the wrong way. He told me he had to flip off that guy driving the truck.

I was livid! We wasted 15-20 minutes of our lives just so he could flip off a stupid driver that cut him off. My blood was boiling and I was pissed!!! I could not believe someone would actually do that! I could not believe he would waste so much time to show some idiot his finger. Needless to say, I was not happy.

What is it that makes people so mad when they drive? If someone cuts me off, I may say out loud that was stupid or something but I will not waste 20 minutes of my life chasing the car down to show them my finger!

Response from Dr. DeFoore

You ask a good question, April. What does make us respond the way we do when we're angry? I encourage you to try to find out, because that will help you to understand and have empathy, which is the key to dealing with your own anger. There is pain and fear underneath all anger, so that's a place to start.

Some people go for "revenge" as your ex-boyfriend did, and that's when some of the most destructive behavior occurs. Keep asking your question, and I'll bet you can come up with some answers. This web site is a good starting place.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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