I'm 22 Years Old, Living At Home, Angry And Drinking
I'm 22 now and still living at home, and 1 week from getting an apartment with my fiance. My fiance tells me I need to stop drinking because when I drink I turn into a very angry person towards only her.
I start breaking things in the house and run off and go out with my friends and then don't remember half the night. The next day I tell her I don't want to be with her, and I want our son for the night.
I go pick him up (he is 7 months now), and she is crying so bad and doesn't want to give him to me. It tears me up inside to the point of crying. I cannot sleep at night, and can't eat. Hopefully we can get back together soon.
I started drinking when I was 14. I saw my parents drink at keg parties and all. I thought that was the life because everyone seemed happy. I started drinking and I love to do it. By the time I was 17 I could out drink grown adults chugging bottles of vodka and drinking cases and cases of beer.
It's all I could think about. Now when I found out we were going to have a child I stopped drinking all the time to only the weekends then every other weekend to now it's only maybe twice a month.
But when I work all week, more than 40 hours a week I feel the only thing I want to do is drink. And when I do drink, I feel as if it releases all the stress because I bottle everything inside.
When I start drinking I don't stop, and I get very angry with my fiance. We have our little problems, as does everyone, but it becomes more than that when I become drunk. I feel now after this time that I do not have my fiance with me and our son because I drank and caused this fight of breaking up.
I now see that I have a problem that needs to be fixed. I love to drink, but I love my family more, and I now see that.
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. It sounds like you're taking the first step--acknowledging that you have a problem. That's important, and it's only the first step. There are many alcoholics, still drinking, who have acknowledged that they have a problem. Let's talk about some other steps.
Knowing what I do about the disease of alcoholism, I can tell you that you need Alcoholics Anonymous. You need to get sober and start the 12 step program, if you want to be a good husband to your fiance and a good father to your child. You are someone who (from what you've written here) cannot drink moderately...you will need to quit.
This is a serious problem, and it will only get worse, until you get into recovery. I hope you will do this, for yourself and your fiance and child.
You also need to get out on your own. As long as you live with your parents, you will likely continue to feel like a child, and make immature decisions.
This online alcohol/drug class offers several choices as well, and they have a good success rate. I support this program, and therefore serve as an affiliate for their company, A.J. Novick Group, Inc.
There is no gray area here. You need help now, and there is no other choice. Please, do not drink and drive, especially if you have your child with you.
I trust that you will make the right choice.
My very best to you,
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