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Dr. DeFoore's Healing Anger Newsletter entitled "Is Anger Bad?"
October 15, 2016

Is Anger Bad?
And How Can It Be Good?

locked up

October 15, 2016
Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #101

Contents Of This Newsletter

(In case these links don't work on your mobile device, click here to read the newsletter on the web with full functionality)

What Is Bad Anger?

The simplest answer is...any anger that does harm, to you or anyone else is what we could consider bad anger. The thing is, all anger isn't bad. As a matter of fact, it can be a life saver.

Anger is an emotion that shows up when you feel threatened, opposed or violated in any way. In other words, anger is the feeling that comes when things don't go your way.

This happens to everybody, right? Right. So, everybody has some experience of anger. What sets us apart is how we deal with it.

The real question is, not whether anger is bad, but what makes anger destructive. Here are some things to consider here:

  • We've established that anger starts out as a natural emotion...nothing wrong or bad there.

  • Most parents, teachers, etc. have a tendency to punish or ignore anger, which causes kids to either stuff it down deep inside, or make it bigger and louder and meaner until it gets noticed.

  • If you stuff your anger, it can contribute to anxiety and depression, which is a whole new kind of problem.

  • If your anger gets bigger and louder and meaner (either because you've been rewarded for it or because it was the only way you could get attention), then you get labeled as bad and wrong. This makes it really hard for you to feel good about yourself or anyone else.

  • So in conclusion, bad anger is the kind that either rattles around inside you causing problems, or the kind that comes out in eruptions and explosions causing problems for everybody.

Since we're talking about what makes anger bad, you might be can anger be good? That's the big question, and we're going to answer it for you.

Keep reading, and I think the whole concept will get easier and easier for you to understand.

"When anger is good, and operating the way it's supposed to, it fuels powerful, effective action that contributes to your safety, happiness and success."

William DeFoore

You might be surprised to know that many of the greatest things ever done in human history came from someone feeling a deep and powerful anger against injustice or oppression. Think of the American Revolution, the French Revolution, the Anti-Apartheid Movement and the abolishment of slavery in the U.S.

Think of what bothers you, threatens you, or gets in your way the most. You can apply your healthy anger toward finding solutions and moving past those barriers to what you want.

When your anger is working right, it fires you up in positive, constructive directions. Think of MADD -- Mothers Against Drunk Drivers. They got mad, and they got busy making things better for all of us.

A lot of folks feel like a victim to their anger...but you're not a victim to any of your emotions. That's what this newsletter and our anger management resource web site is all about.

I know I promised last month that this issue would focus on how to show respect for other people's boundaries...that will definitely be the topic for the November issue.


How Can Anger Be Good?

This is very tricky...when anger is good, righteous and healthy, it doesn't look, sound or feel like anger at all.

Do you think those moms in MADD looked angry while they sat at those typewriters, writing their congressmen and congresswomen, taking action to form their organization to make our roads safe from drunk drivers? Probably not. But they were busy, and focused, and getting the job done.

Here are some steps you can take to make sure your anger is good and working for you:

  • Make sure you know the deepest roots of your anger. That's your deepest pain, your greatest losses, and your most traumatic experiences.

  • Once you've figured that out, use these tools to heal those old emotional wounds...or else your anger will drive you blindly in directions you don't really want to go.

  • Learn all about what it means to be assertive, and how to have tough love.

  • And the topic of healthy anger is so important, we have a whole web page devoted to it, so be sure and check it out here.

You will need to feel like you're worthy of this be sure you learn to love yourself and take effective action on your own behalf.

You are worthy of love, and you are worthy of the life you choose. You're going to need the fuel of your healthy emotions to create it.


healthy anger

This highly effective audio program, available as a CD or MP3 download, will help you heal your anger and get it working for you instead of against you.

Take advantage of the free previews when you click on the image above, and the no-risk return policy that guarantees your satisfaction.

Welcome To New Subscribers

The Healing Anger Newsletter brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace.

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What's New On The Web Site?

New web pages for you. Read new contributions from good folks like you, such as Stuck In A Cycle Of Blaming, Guilt And Anger by a woman who wants to break free from destructive anger patterns, and I Love My Family, So Why Do I Get So Angry? by a man who is highly motivated to stop hurting the people he loves most.

We Have A Mobile Site. Please visit our site, using your smart phone, and check out the mobile version of the site. I would really appreciate your feedback -- just look for your favorite information, and see if you find it easy to navigate. Then let me know what you think! Thanks in advance.

Check Out Our Facebook Page! It gives you all of the latest updates from Dr. DeFoore and visitors like you. To follow us on Facebook, just go to Anger Management Resource by Dr. William DeFoore and click on "Like" at the top of the page -- or, follow us on Twitter!

New Web Site! That's right, Dr. DeFoore (that's me) has created an all new web site that is all about helping you feel good about yourself and the world around you. Visit and find lots of positive, upbeat perspectives to help you with your anger and every aspect of your life, and sign up for the Goodfinding Newsletter, and/or the Daily Goodfinding Quotes.

P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.

P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype and Face Time video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!

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