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Dr. DeFoore's Healing Anger Newsletter entitled "Anger & Your Personal Boundariesf"
September 15, 2016

Setting Strong Boundaries
How This Relates To Anger & Love


September 15, 2016
Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #100

Contents Of This Newsletter

(In case these links don't work on your mobile device, click here to read the newsletter on the web with full functionality)

What Are Personal Boundaries?

Well, first of all, they are invisible. That's why this is a kind of tricky business. But you can succeed, with the tips you'll get here!

Boundaries are really a matter of your comfort zone around other people, and how you feel in response to their words and actions. The actual "boundary" is defined by physical space around you, but it's also a matter of an emotional sensitivity to what others say and do.

When you follow the recommendations in this newsletter, others will automatically respect your boundaries without you having to say or do much at all. When you have good boundaries people treat you with kindness and respect, or if they don't, you know how to speak and act in appropriate ways that take care of the problem.

Here are some other ideas about personal boundaries:

  • It's a matter of knowing where you stand--where you stop and the other person starts, which means having good self-awareness, so that you are paying attention to how you feel.

  • Boundaries are also about standing up for yourself, which sometimes means standing up to someone who's intrusive, abusive or otherwise disrespectful to you.

  • Think of having good boundaries as being dominant within your territory -- not dominant over someone else, just dominant in your own space. When you feel that, you are more likely to expect and receive respect from others.

  • Another way of looking at this is in terms of authority. When you have good boundaries, you're the authority over what you know, where you stand, and what you own, and we're not talking about authority over someone else.

  • And finally, good personal boundaries means having good assertiveness skills. When you're assertive, you might say you're asserting yourself right up to your boundaries, letting the other person know, "This is where you stop and I start." You don't have to be aggressive to have good boundaries, but you definitely need to be assertive.

I know, this is not an easy subject to grasp, but I promise you that it's an important one. That's why I have created an entire web page on personal boundaries.

Keep reading, and I think the whole concept will get easier and easier for you to understand.

"Your boundaries are all about how much you respect yourself, which is directly reflected in how much others respect you."

William DeFoore

Another question to consider is, why do you need boundaries in the first place? A couple of, because you (we all) are vulnerable at our core, whether you realize it or not, and two, because unfortunately there are many people in the world who will walk all over you if you let them.

Guess what! The more positive emotions you have running inside you, and the deeper they run, the better your boundaries will be.

And how does anger play into this? Very powerfully...when you're angry at someone, you're ready to violate their boundaries, and when you get aggressive verbally or physically with them, you're definitely crossing their boundaries.

Of course, that's very likely to make the other person angry, and...well, you know how it goes from there.

By the way, the next issue of this newsletter will focus on how to show respect for other people's boundaries.


How Do I Set Strong Personal Boundaries?

Don't worry, this is not going to keep love a matter of fact, healthy boundaries will make your love relationships stronger!

Did you know that tough love is all about setting good, strong, healthy boundaries? Well it is, and you can learn all about tough love here.

Here are some steps you can take to create healthy boundaries:

  • It's all about love. Self-love creates self-respect, which automatically helps you to set clear and strong boundaries...and, it makes it easier for you to love and be loved by others.

  • One of the best tools for establishing healthy boundaries is to find the distance from which you can love the other person. If a person is kind and respectful, for example, you can love them up close...but if someone is aggressive, intrusive and controlling, you will need more distance (physical and/or emotional) in order to feel safe in loving them.

  • Make sure your anger is healthy anger. When your anger is healthy, you automatically respect others' boundaries, and you know how to make sure they respect yours.

  • It's also very important to learn about nonverbal communication and assertiveness skills, in order to keep your boundaries safe, strong and healthy.

The first step in the direction of clear and strong personal boundaries is to start building self-esteem and self-love.

You are worthy of love, and you are worthy of respect and kindness. have to give it to receive it!


Inner Child

This highly effective audio program, available as a CD or MP3 download, will help you heal past emotional wounds that might stop you from setting clear and healthy boundaries. And, it will help you to establish lasting and meaningful self-love and self-respect.

Take advantage of the free previews when you click on the image above, and the no-risk return policy that guarantees your satisfaction.

Welcome To New Subscribers

The Healing Anger Newsletter brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace.

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What's New On The Web Site?

New web pages for you. Read new contributions from good folks like you, such as I Love My Family So Why Do I Get So Angry? by a man who wants to protect his wonderful wife and children from his anger, and Two Days Of Road Rage -- What Did I Do? by a woman who has a daily commute among aggressive drivers, and is looking for solutions about how to stay safe.

We Have A Mobile Site. Please visit our site, using your smart phone, and check out the mobile version of the site. I would really appreciate your feedback -- just look for your favorite information, and see if you find it easy to navigate. Then let me know what you think! Thanks in advance.

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New Web Site! That's right, Dr. DeFoore (that's me) has created an all new web site that is all about helping you feel good about yourself and the world around you. Visit and find lots of positive, upbeat perspectives to help you with your anger and every aspect of your life, and sign up for the Goodfinding Newsletter, and/or the Daily Goodfinding Quotes.

P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.

P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype and Face Time video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!

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