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Dr. DeFoore's Healing Anger Newsletter entitled "The Power Of Vulnerability"
June 15, 2017

The Power Of Vulnerability
And How To Make It Part Of Your Strength


June 15, 2017
Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #109

Contents Of This Newsletter

(In case these links don't work on your mobile device, click here to read the newsletter on the web with full functionality)

Why Do You Need Vulnerability?

Because it's the truth, and it shows courage and strength when you face the truth. It's the truth because everyone's's part of our humanity.

Being vulnerable doesn't make you weak...hiding from your vulnerability does. We are all vulnerable. We are fragile beings living in an uncertain world where virtually anything can happen. That's life.

Here are some ways to understand your vulnerability:

  • Whether you want to admit it or not, you have a tender heart. That's why those you love the most can hurt you the most.

  • You will naturally try to protect your heart, and the point here is to be smart in how you do that.

  • Anger, aggression and defensiveness are all efforts to protect your heart, but they can actually make things worse and cause you more pain.

  • One of the best ways to protect your heart is to know your vulnerability, and be able to talk about it with openness and confidence.

  • In a practical sense, this simply means being able to talk about your love, your pain, and your fear in an open and meaningful way.

You're only weak when you pretend you're not vulnerable at all, or if you get overwhelmed by your emotions of pain, sorrow or fear.

The goal here is to cover the skills needed to talk about your vulnerability in a way that brings you closer to those you love, and actually makes you and your relationships stronger in the process.

"Your greatest strength is in knowing yourself well enough to be vulnerable in a powerful way."

William DeFoore

Self-awareness is the first component of emotional intelligence, and it's also the first step to reach the goals we're talking about here.

Now let's take a look at how you can get to know yourself better, and use your self-awareness to be both vulnerable and strong at the same time.

One of the best ways to create strength and vulnerability in your life is with support and encouragement from others. That's why we created the Goodfinding Community Online page.

Here are some specifics on how to be strong and vulnerable, on your own and in your relationships.

heart glow

How Does Vulnerability Help?

No matter how big and strong you may seem, or how scary you are when you're angry, that kind of strength will leave you alone and unhappy. Anger and aggression push people away, and they come from fear.

What we all want most is to love and be loved, and that requires that we know how to express our more intimate emotions, that draw others closer instead of pushing them away.

Here are the steps you can take:

  • Know your self, deep inside. Review your past with this journaling process, and that will give you the stories underlying all of your emotions...that's the subject matter of vulnerability.

  • Be sure you have done enough emotional healing work so that you have the courage to be vulnerable without being overwhelmed by your emotions.

  • Practice these communication skills with a friend or trusted family member, until you get confident in using them on your own.

  • Start practicing some of this type of communication with your spouse, partner or significant other. Ideally, get them to learn the skills along with you. Like any tools or skills, the more you practice them, the easier they become.

Remember, being vulnerable is being honest. Pretending you feel something, while hiding other feelings, is just not as honest as being able to talk openly about your emotions.

Keep in mind that healthy vulnerability has nothing to do with making "you" statements about other people, where you're analyzing, criticising or judging another person. It's all about making "I" statements, such as "I feel sad/scared when..." or "I feel closest to you when..."

You are speaking from your heart, talking about your love, your deep emotions, and your desire for strong loving connection.


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This highly effective audio program, available as a CD or MP3 download, will help you to deal with anger and disappointment in your relationships, and establish strong, positive expectations that will serve you and your partner well.

Take advantage of the free previews when you click on the image above, and the no-risk return policy that guarantees your satisfaction.

Welcome To New Subscribers

The Healing Anger Newsletter brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace.

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What's New On The Web Site?

New web pages for you. Read new contributions from good folks like you, such as My Husband Has A Marijuana Problem And Rages Over Trivial Things by a woman trying to save a troubled marriage, and My Wife Wants All Of My Attention And Hates My Family by a man feeling caught between his wife and his family of origin.

We Have A Mobile Site. Please visit our site, using your smart phone, and check out the mobile version of the site. I would really appreciate your feedback -- just look for your favorite information, and see if you find it easy to navigate. Then let me know what you think! Thanks in advance.

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New Web Site! That's right, Dr. DeFoore (that's me) has created an all new web site that is all about helping you feel good about yourself and the world around you. Visit and find lots of positive, upbeat perspectives to help you with your anger and every aspect of your life, and sign up for the Goodfinding Newsletter, and/or the Daily Goodfinding Quotes.

P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.

P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype and Face Time video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!

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