Back to Back Issues Page
Dr. DeFoore's Healing Anger Newsletter entitled "How To Increase Your Safety & Self-confidence"
January 15, 2016

Increase Your Feeling Of Safety
And You Will Actually Become Safer


January 15, 2016
Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #092

Contents of this newsletter

Why Is It So Hard To Feel Safe?

Safety is a feeling, not a fact. What is interesting is that the greater your authentic feeling of safety, the greater your actual safety is likely to be.

We are vulnerable beings living in an unpredictable world, so there is no absolute safety...however, you can greatly increase your feeling of safety by following a few simple recommendations.

Why is that feeling of safety so hard to come by? Some people have lots of money, great support in their lives, and they still do not feel safe. Others are in almost constant danger, and yet are capable of feeling safe at times...why is that?

  • A big part of the answer is mental focus. If you focus right now on the things that frighten or frustrate you, you will feel less safe, whether you're aware of it or not. Likewise, your mental focus can foster feelings of confidence and security.

  • Another reason for our feelings about safety have to do with past experience. For example, with the best of intentions, parents, teachers and doctors have told you all of your life to watch out and be careful beause of all of the bad things that could happen to you.

  • And then there is the influence of trauma. The more trauma you've experienced in your life, the more challenging it will be to feel safe...but you can still do it.

  • Most of us didn't get enough of the encouraging and empowering guidance that increases self-confidence and proficiency and adds greatly to a feeling of safety in this world.

  • Of course, there's also the daily, ongoing influence of news media and marketing efforts that focus primarily on problems and "what could go wrong," without enough emphasis on the positive, encouraging and inspiring events and realities in the world.

So, you can see that we came by our insecurities honestly, just by living in this world as it is. But we have choices about how we respond to these influences.

Those choices include dealing with those past influences directly, as through imagery and journaling, and by developing new skills to use in the present and on an ongoing basis.

"The stronger your positive mental focus, the stronger your self-confidence will be...and the greater your actual sense of safety will become."

William DeFoore

Part of the solution we'll be proposing here is to provide positive re-parenting to yourself. To get a feeling for this, watch this inspiring video in which a mom is totally supportive of her son as he pursues his dream.

As you watch this video, say some of these positive things to yourself, that you hear the mom saying to her son.

positive parenting video

How Do You Create A Feeling Of Safety?

As you increase your positive messages to yourself, you will automatically start to focus more on the good things around you, thereby increasing your self-confidence and feelings of safety.

Now let's go through some steps you can take to get this process rolling for yourself.

  • Start to develop your habit of positive self-talk today, and keep at it until it becomes automatic.

  • Also begin your journaling process now, to shift your mental focus from problems to soltions, from fear to optimism.

  • Use your brilliant mind to visualize and imagine the future of safety, security and self-confidence you want for yourself.

  • Think of how you're going to feel when this is accomplished, and your feeling of safety and confidence are growing daily.

We all need lots of positive, encouraging input these days, with all of the negativity that pours in on a daily

Get New Positive Thoughts Every Day In Your Inbox

As you can tell, the solution you're looking for is within you. Use the tools recommended here to activate those solutions.

Believe in yourself and your dreams. Awaken the champion you were born to be, and express your truth in your own, unique way.

inner child

This highly effective audio program, available as a CD or MP3 download, will help you heal old emotional wounds and create lasting self-confidence and self-love. In this program, Dr. DeFoore will guide you through an understanding of your basic unmet needs and how you can begin to meet them on your own. Get your copy now.

Take advantage of the free previews, and the no-risk return policy that guarantees your satisfaction, when you follow the links above.

Welcome To New Subscribers

The Healing Anger Newsletter brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace.

If you like this ezine, please do a friend and me a big favor and "pay it forward" by forwarding it to them. If a friend did forward this to you and if you like what you read, please subscribe by visiting the Healing Anger Newsletter subscription page.

Back to Top of Page

What's New On The Web Site?

checkmarkNew web pages for you. Read new contributions from good folks like you, such as I Died Young by a man who lost his older brother when he was a child and is still trying to recover, and I Have Become Mrs. Anger by a woman baffled by her anger, and ready to change so that she can treat her family with the love she really feels.

checkmarkWe Have A Mobile Site. Please visit our site, using your smart phone, and check out the mobile version of the site. I would really appreciate your feedback -- just look for your favorite information, and see if you find it easy to navigate. Then let me know what you think! Thanks in advance.

checkmarkCheck Out Our Facebook Page! It gives you all of the latest updates from Dr. DeFoore and visitors like you. To follow us on Facebook, just go to Anger Management Resource by Dr. William DeFoore and click on "Like" at the top of the page -- or, follow us on Twitter!

checkmarkNew Web Site! That's right, Dr. DeFoore (that's me) has created an all new web site that is all about helping you feel good about yourself and the world around you. Visit and find lots of positive, upbeat perspectives to help you with your anger and every aspect of your life, and sign up for the Goodfinding Newsletter, and/or the Daily Goodfinding Quotes.

P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.

P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype and Face Time video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!

Back to Top of Page

Back to Back Issues Page