|Hi, learn how to manage your anger by lightening up.
Make Light Of Your Situation
And Get Closer To Your True Self
The Healing Anger Newsletter (skip to where the new issue starts) brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace.
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June 1, 2012
Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #049
Make Light Of Your Situation
And Get Closer To Your True Self
Contents of this newsletter
What's new on the web site?
Some new visitor stories by good folks just like you, who want to deal with the anger in their lives in healthier ways. Check out How Dare You Want A Puppy!, and My Angry Critical Self Needs Help.
We have three interactive online tests, one to assess your escalation patterns, one to measure your depression level, and one to assess your overall emotional balance.
Check Out The New Look On Our Facebook Page! It gives you all of the latest updates from Dr. DeFoore and visitors like you. To follow us on Facebook, just go to Anger
Management Resource by Dr. William DeFoore and click on "Like" at the top of the page--or, follow us on Twitter!
Visit Goodfinding.com, Dr. DeFoore's other web site. Find lots of positive, upbeat perspectives to help you with your anger management, and sign up for the Goodfinding Newsletter. Anger often comes from keeping a very negative focus--and here's your antidote!
What's Light About Anger?
I know, at first glance, anger seems very dark. But think about this for a minute...police officers tell us that the most dangerous calls they can make are domestic violence calls. Why is that? It's because wherever there is the most love, that's where there is the most potential for anger.
Anger comes from feeling threatened, hurt, neglected or afraid. It's an effort to get strong in the face of vulnerability. And we're more vulnerable with those we love than with
Let's look at how this works:
- Deep inside, you just want to feel loved, and you want to be able to show your love. That's your inner light.
- When you are able to give and receive love, you are light-hearted and care-free.
- But as you know, loving someone makes you very vulnerable, and the people you love the most are the ones with the greatest power to hurt you. They often don't really mean to, but we human beings are pretty clumsy with love sometimes, and don't really know how to make it safe for each other.
- So, where there is the most love (light), we are the most vulnerable to being hurt, feel the most threatened, and that's where we are the most likely to be angry (to protect ourselves).
- Then, when
the anger shows up, the love light fades (but doesn't go out). And what once was a place of light and love becomes a place of pain, fear and anger.
So, I think you can see the connection here. Anger comes right out of the light of your love. We never meant for this to happen. People don't get married or fall in love while planning to fight with each other and grow apart. But that's what happens, all too often.
By learning to heal and control your anger, and beyond that, develop your abilities to express love and happiness, you will be correcting this problem.
Next we'll look at some steps to heal the anger by making more light inside you, and in the world around you.
How Do I Make More Light?
Healing anger is not all about controlling it. It's about replacing it with the lighter emotions of love, compassion, joy and kindness. It takes more courage to be kind than to be angry.
Here are the steps to making more light in your heart and your life:
- If your anger has a grip on you and won't let go, then follow these steps.
- Next, connect with the light inside you by learning to love, appreciate and care for your inner child.
- To make more light within yourself, learn to meditate. Meditation is simply the practice of relaxing and allowing your focus to come to rest in the quiet, loving inner core of your self.
- Then, to train your mind on a daily, ongoing basis to look on the lighter, brighter side of things, become a Goodfinder.
One of the biggest causes of anger is thinking about, dwelling on, and obsessing over what is wrong, broken, and not working in you, the people around you, and your life in general.
Once you've done the work to heal your anger, the rest of the work is to learn to connect with the inner goodness of who you really are, by focusing on what is good, right and working. You can do this--you are far more brilliant and good than you know!
This audio CD
program, also available for download as an MP3 file to play on your computer, iPod or other MP3 player, will take you through all of the steps to learn to meditate. And it will help you understand how meditation can be an essential part of your overall emotional healing process.
P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.
P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!
Manage Your Anger With The Art of Appreciation
Let me hear from you!Comments? Ideas? Feedback? I'd love to hear from you. Just reply to this ezine and tell me what you think! If you have ideas for future Healing Anger Newsletter issues, I'm open to considering them. Here is your opportunity to get involved--I might even include your comments, story or link in a future issue of this ezine.
Also, as I mentioned above I would very much like your testimonial or endorsement if you have purchased a product--or if you downloaded our free E-book!
Don't forget! We want to hear your story, and when you submit it you get your own web page on the site! Take a
look at the categories you can write in now. It's easy!
Thanks for being here!
William G. DeFoore
Disclosure: William DeFoore is an authorized affiliate of Legacy Publishing Company, A.J. Novick Group, Inc.,
Think Right Now International, Inc., SiteSell, Inc. and the Institute of HeartMath.