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February 15, 2013
Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #057
Honoring Your Internal Protector
The Protective Nature Of Anger
Contents of this newsletter
What's New On The Web Site?
A helpful new web page!
Learn about the The Angry Mother
, and how she got that way. No mother wants to hurt her children, and yet as the stress, frustration and finally anger build, that's sadly what sometimes happens. If you or someone close to you is now or has been an angry mother, this page will help you understand and heal.
New visitor-contributed pages
, such as Loss Of My Mother And Difficulties With My Grieving Family
Check Out Our Facebook Page!
It gives you all of the latest updates from Dr. DeFoore and visitors like you. To follow us on Facebook, just go to Anger Management Resource by Dr. William DeFoore
and click on "Like" at the top of the page--or, follow us on Twitter
, Dr. DeFoore's other web site. Find lots of positive, upbeat perspectives to help you with your anger management, and sign up for the Goodfinding Newsletter
What Is The Internal Protector?
Well, in a word, it's your anger. Anger is originally a protective emotion, which gets triggered when you feel threatened or opposed in any way.
But since your anger was not honored, accepted or guided when you were a child, it developed in unhealthy ways. So now, it has become a destructive protector. Let's see how that happens:
- When your original, protective anger was punished, ignored or squashed, it had to retreat to the shadows of your subconscious mind.
- It didn't go away, it just became more primitive in its methods of protection.
- So, what started out as a healthy, normal protective response has become some version of
resentment, rage, bitterness, depression or anxiety. These are the results when we don't get to develop the healthy power of the natural protective emotion of anger.
- The internal protector then becomes destructive, to you and to others. It's like a wounded warrior who has become blind and unfocused in her rage, striking out in all directions.
- It's still a protector, so it is still good at its core--but it becomes very dangerous, just like any other wounded animal does.
Your job is now to get to know the wounded warrior, and heal the noble protector of your anger, so that it can work for you and not against you.
Let's examine some steps you can take to honor your internal protector:
How Do I Honor My Internal Protector?
If it's clear to you that your anger is originally and naturally a protective emotion, then you've already taken the first step.
can be very challenging, since your anger may have become extremely toxic and destructive...it's hard not to hate or fear it. Here is how you proceed, so that you can be strong and healthy:
- Let your anger speak. That is the sole purpose of the anger journaling exercise, which is simply a way to get your anger out on paper in a safe and healthy way.
- Review and revisit your memories of those times when you needed protection and didn't have any. These were the times when your internal protector wanted to protect you, but wasn't able to for some reason.
- Feel the anger related to those events in your life. Acknowledge it as a protective response.
imagine your anger as a protective angel or other similar image that is both fierce, angry and good all at the same time.
- Now speak to this wounded protector in your mind, saying, "Thank you for trying to protect me all of these years. I know it has been a difficult journey for you. I want you to know you're no longer alone. I want to work with you to create a safe, healthy and beautiful life going forward."
- Finally, make a list of all of the ways that you currently protect yourself emotionally, and label each one as "healthy" and "unhealthy." Build on the healthy ones, and begin developing an image of your healthy anger as a spiritual warrior, totally devoted to your health and happiness.
If you did the
above exercises, you may be feeling some powerful emotions right now. If not, then that only means that your anger is locked away out of your reach. Keep trying these techniques, and you may be able to break through your internal barriers and connect with your good and noble heart.
When you heal your heart and the powerful internal protector within you, your capacity for creating a joyful and healthy life will be greatly enhanced and expanded.
This book will take you on a journey to explore and discover the deep and powerful realms of your soul, where both anger and angels reside. Here is what one
reader says about Anger Among Angels:
"I really liked Anger Among Angels. You are
so passionate about embracing everything in our psyche and alienating nothing. Reading your book comforts me."
Arzu Calis, Executive Coach.
P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.
P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!
From Wounded Warrior To Spiritual Warrior
Let me hear from you!Comments? Ideas? Feedback? I'd love to hear from you. Just reply to this ezine and tell me what you think! If you have ideas for future Healing Anger Newsletter issues, I'm open to considering them. Here is your opportunity to get involved--I might even include your comments, story or link in a future issue of this ezine.
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Thanks for being here!
William G. DeFoore
Disclosure: William DeFoore is an authorized affiliate of Legacy Publishing Company, A.J. Novick Group, Inc.,
Think Right Now International, Inc., SiteSell, Inc. and the Institute of HeartMath.