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Dr. DeFoore's Healing Anger Newsletter entitled "The Cost of Grudges"
February 15, 2023

The Cost of Grudges
And How To Let Them Go

February 15, 2023
Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #177

Contents of this newsletter

What Is the Cost of a Grudge?

It's totally natural to feel angry when you're hurt or offended. The question is what do you do after that...

Held anger becomes toxic to your entire body/mind system. A grudge is held anger. The only way to prevent anger from turning into a grudge is to learn to express it in health ways, and move toward forgiveness and letting go.

Let's look a little closer at how this works:

  • When you are hurt, offended, or threatened, your system automatically goes into a recoil reaction, pulling back and tensing up your muscles.

  • If you then begin contemplating revenge or retaliation, you are nurturing a grudge.

  • This is the same thing as eating toxic food and deciding to keep it inside. It will just make you sick. In the case of anger, it will deplete your immune function, lead to depression, or create an ongoing bitterness and cynicism.

  • Forgiveness and letting go does not mean you're approving of anyone's actions toward you. You are simply deciding to return to health and well-being...a gift to yourself.

Think of it this way...

Forgiveness is something you do for yourself, and really has nothing to do with the person who has wronged you.

William DeFoore

Decide to love yourself enough to let go of any old grudges you may still be holding. This will help you to become the good-hearted person you were born to be.


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The Healing Anger Newsletter brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace.

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What's New On The Web Site?

New web pages for you. Read new contributions from good folks like you, such as Betrayed And Rejected And Now I Can't Let Go by a woman trying to break free from an obsession about a relationship, and this powerful story by a young woman trying to find a place for herself in the world, called My Mom Wishes I Had Never Been Born.

We Have A Mobile Site. Please visit our site, using your smart phone, and check out the mobile version of the site. I would really appreciate your feedback -- just look for your favorite information, and see if you find it easy to navigate. Then let me know what you think! Thanks in advance.

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New Web Site! That's right, Dr. DeFoore (that's me) has created an all new web site that is all about helping you feel good about yourself and the world around you. Visit and find lots of positive, upbeat perspectives to help you with your anger and every aspect of your life, and sign up for the Goodfinding Newsletter, and/or the Daily Goodfinding Quotes.

P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.

P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype and Face Time video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!

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