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Dr. DeFoore's Healing Anger Newsletter entitled "Angry At Yourself"
August 15, 2016

Are You Angry At Yourself?
Here Are Some Good Steps You Can Take

Facing Yourself

August 15, 2016
Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #099

Contents of this newsletter (These Table Of Content links don't work on mobile email apps - click here to read on the web site with full mobile functionality)

Why Does It Matter?

Why does it matter if you're angry at yourself or not? There are a lot of reasons...and it matters a lot!

But, you might ask...why do we get so angry with ourselves? It's because we've disappointed ourselves somehow, failing to meet our expectations of who and how we should be. In other words, we get angry at ourselves because we want to be good and don't quite measure up.

Some of the reasons have to do with how it affects your health and happiness, and other reasons have to do with how it affects your relationships with others.

Remember, it is your nature to be loving and kind, so when you go into anger, whether it's toward yourself or someone else, you're going against your nature.

Here's why it matters so much:

  • When you're mad at yourself, it's like being at war with yourself...and you can never win that war, simply because you're on both sides.

  • Internal conflict drains your energy, as you wage battle against yourself, pushing in two directions at once. This energy drain can lead to many types of physical problems and illness, over time.

  • One of the results of this internal fight with yourself is that you will (usually without realizing it) push loved ones away when they get too close. Your inner feeling is that you don't really like yourself, so you won't let someone you love get close to that part you don't when Groucho Marx said, "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."

  • And then it all gets worse, as you realize you're pushing away someone you love, causing you to be even more angry with yourself.

So, as you can see...being angry at yourself is a no-win situation all around. You suffer from an internal battle you cannot win, and your loved ones suffer because you keep pushing them away.

Your original intentions may be good in this effort, but there's a better way...

"You get angry at yourself with the idea that you can pressure yourself into changing for the better, but it just doesn't work that way. Self love is the real key to lasting change."

William DeFoore

You were born with the natural desire to evolve and improve. The anger at yourself shows up when you fall short of your expectations, which we all do.

But you have to keep going past that point if you want to be happy and healthy. Staying stuck in inner conflict can lead to depression, anxiety, and numerous types of anger issues in everyday life.

Be aware that some people (it could be you...) are so busy being angry at others and blaming someone else for their problems that they haven't even noticed that their strongest anger is towards themselves.

These positive messages and videos will help you to have more understanding, love and compassion for yourself and other people as well.

Inner Child

What Can You Do About It?

It might seem risky to love yourself. It might seem like you would stop growing and improving if you're not angry at yourself for your shortcomings.

The thing is, inner conflict locks you up, so that you don't have the energy to change. When you begin to love and accept yourself as you are, you become motivated to re-engage with your natural path of self-improvement and growth.

Here are some steps you can take in this direction:

  • Trace your anger at yourself back to where it wanted to do better than you did. This is where you actually find the good intentions behind the self-directed anger.

  • Start paving a path of small steps you can take (or that you're already taking) toward improvement. Tell the angry part of yourself, "I'm working on it. We'll get there if we work together."

  • Imagine your angry self as an ally, a tough friend that wants you to do well. Make friends with your anger...after all, it just wants you to do your best.

  • Next imagine yourself having achieved some or all of your goals, and how good it's going to feel to you. Really dive deep into those feelings of accomplishment, and encourage yourself to believe you can do it.

  • Every time you see someone who seems to have good self confidence and healthy self esteem, say silently to yourself, "That is me. I'm just like that."

Start a journaling process in which you include positive messages to yourself about yourself every few days. Give yourself a pep talk and strong encouragement to hang in there and be persistent with those healthy choices.

Never, ever give up on yourself. Aspire to great heights, and inspire yourself to continue, day by day, until you're starting to regularly meet those noble, worthwile goals.


Inner Child

This highly effective audio program, available as a CD or MP3 download, will help you heal past emotional wounds that were the starting place of your anger. And not only that, it will also help you begin your important journey toward self-love and self-improvement.

Take advantage of the free previews when you click on the image above, and the no-risk return policy that guarantees your satisfaction.

Welcome To New Subscribers

The Healing Anger Newsletter brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace.

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What's New On The Web Site?

New web pages for you. Read new contributions from good folks like you, such as Can Abusers Really Change? by a woman in a 22 year marriage who's wondering if her husband can ever change, and Breaking The Chain by a 67 year old man who just lost his wife and is looking for guidance to help him deal with his depression.

We Have A Mobile Site. Please visit our site, using your smart phone, and check out the mobile version of the site. I would really appreciate your feedback -- just look for your favorite information, and see if you find it easy to navigate. Then let me know what you think! Thanks in advance.

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New Web Site! That's right, Dr. DeFoore (that's me) has created an all new web site that is all about helping you feel good about yourself and the world around you. Visit and find lots of positive, upbeat perspectives to help you with your anger and every aspect of your life, and sign up for the Goodfinding Newsletter, and/or the Daily Goodfinding Quotes.

P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.

P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype and Face Time video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!

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