What's Love Got To Do With It?
It all starts and ends with love. Love is far bigger and more powerful than anger, even though anger can feel huge and overwhelming at times.
However, the greatest anger shows up in the relationships with the most love...but it doesn't have to be that way.
Your true nature is love...not anger. So, when you heal your anger by returning to love, you're actually returning to your original nature.
Let's look at how this unfolds:
- Your greatest need is to love and be loved...and that's also where all of the pain starts. Needing love makes us vulnerable, and our parents turned out to be flawed human beings.
- The human failings of our parents and caregivers inevitably leads to feelings of disappointment, betrayal, and yes...anger.
- But nobody wants to be stuck in the anger, no matter how justified it may be--that's why you're reading this newsletter.
- This always leads us back to love, because that's where it started, and that's the healing solution for the anger.
Too much anger over too long a period of time can remove the possibility of love, and too much of the wrong kind of love (no boundaries, codependency) can allow too much anger to continue for too long.
Consider this about love and anger...
"Healthy, balanced love includes self love, and requires healthy anger in order to be sustainable."
more about what we mean by healthy love by reading about tough love and personal boundaries.
However angry you might be, you want love...we all do. So make sure your anger is healthy, so that it takes you toward love and not away from it.
Where Is The Real Power?
Ironically, love seems soft, vulnerable and even weak at times. And anger can seem powerful and dominant. That's how we get in so much trouble...thinking our anger makes us powerful.
In truth, love is far more powerful...let's look at some of the reasons now.
- Love prevails. You may have heard that before, but you've probably never heard "anger prevails."
- Healthy, balanced love includes healthy anger, but unhealthy anger has no love in it at all. So, love can cover and carry anger, but anger has to be healthy to carry love.
- Anger comes from fear, while love comes from your deep, inner spiritual nature.
- Unhealthy anger shuts down your higher brain function, and is not intelligent at all, while
healthy love includes wisdom and great understanding.
- Love can be large, inclusive and encompassing, while anger is usually small-minded and excluding.
- Love is more fun, and will make you happier, while anger is not fun at all.
I know, this is a big subject, and there's no way we can cover it all here. I'm hoping you get the idea though, that the power that comes from anger is short-term and unreliable, while the power of love is everlasting.
You can grow your love daily with a journaling practice of writing as many sentences as you can think of, that start with, "I love..."
This highly effective audio program, available as a CD or MP3 download, will help you understand love, anger and forgiveness and how they can work together to create the relationships and emotional well being you desire.
Take advantage of the free previews, and the no-risk return policy that guarantees your satisfaction.
Welcome To New Subscribers
The Healing Anger Newsletter brings you a refreshing, helpful
and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace.
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What's New On The Web Site?
New web pages for you. Read new contributions from good folks like you, such as Stepmother Vicious Beyond Belief by a man trying to heal and recover from a childhood dominated by abuse and persecution, and Can You Fix An Emotionally Abusive Marriage? by a woman dealing with unrealistic jealousy and anger in her marriage.
We Have A Mobile Site. Please visit our site, AngerManagementResource.com using your smart phone, and check out the mobile version of the site. I would really appreciate your feedback -- just look for your favorite information, and see if you find it easy to navigate. Then let me know what you think! Thanks in advance.
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New Web Site! That's right, Dr. DeFoore (that's me) has created an all new web site that is all about helping you feel good about yourself and the world around you. Visit goodfinding.com and find lots of positive, upbeat perspectives to help you with your anger and every aspect of your life, and sign up for the Goodfinding Newsletter, and/or the Daily Goodfinding Quotes.
P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.
P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype and Face Time video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!
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