Unresolved Grief Leads To Anger
Countless times, I've been helping good folks find the cause of their anger, and lo and behold, we uncovered some old grief that was never resolved. That's no big surprise, when you think of how we often refer to "grievances" as another word for
anger and resentment toward someone.
Let's look at how that happens:
- You already know how pain can lead to anger.
- When someone hurts you, it is quite natural to feel some anger toward that person.
- Grief is another word for pain, in that grief refers to the pain and sorrow of loss.
- So, even though most of this happens subconsciously, grief and loss often lead to anger, resentment and "grievances."
Another way of looking at this is
that your anger is a protector, and the more wounded you feel by the pain of loss, the more intense the need to protect. Think of a child or pet in your life, and how protective you can be if they're hurt in some way.
Learn about how anger fits into the stages of grief, and how to grieve in healthy ways.
Unhealthy Anger Leads To Grief
I know you have felt this. You get mad, you lash out, and you hurt someone you love...or it's the other way around.
But there are some other ways that anger leads to grief. Let's take a look:
- If you don't do the necessary steps to healthy grieving, you can easily get stuck in anger -- which is one of the stages of grief. This happens because pain and sorrow feel weak and helpless, and in an effort to gain a sense of control and power, we often turn to anger.
- While stuck in anger, you will cause grief for yourself and others. You know how that works.
- And finally, anger can go along with a sense of helplessness and despair, where you just "don't care any more." That's when you can cause the most pain and grief of all.
Hopefully this understanding will help. I've provided a couple of links to the
page on healthy grieving, so I think it's also good that we look at healthy anger, which you'll find well described in the audio program below, or on this web page.
You can be emotionally healthy. The tools are right here.
This highly effective audio program, available as a CD or MP3 download, will give you all of the basics on how to heal your anger and express it in healthy ways. Healthy anger is a powerful tool...learn to use it for the good
purposes you choose. Listen to free previews, and purchase your CD or download. Remember, if you're not totally satisfied, you get a full refund.
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What's New On The Web Site?
New articles. Read new contributions, such as this article called, Use Rituals To Ease The Anguish Of Loss, and this one called, From Jealousy To Generosity. This next story is from a woman who struggles with her anger because her husband hides things from her: My Husband Hides Information From Me.
New Mobile Site! Please visit our site, AngerManagementResource.com using your smart phone, and check out the mobile version of the
site. I would really appreciate your feedback -- just look for your favorite information, and see if you find it easy to navigate. Then let me know what you think! Thanks in advance.
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New Web Site! That's right, Dr. DeFoore (that's me) has created an all new web site that is all about helping you to feel good about yourself and the world around you. Visit goodfinding.com and find lots of positive, upbeat perspectives to help you with your anger and every aspect of your life, and sign up for the Goodfinding Newsletter...and you can read the current Goodfinding newsletter now!.
P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.
P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype and Face Time video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!
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