|Hi, learn how kindness is stronger than anger.
The Courage Of Kindness
Why You Have To Be Tough To Be Kind
The Healing Anger Newsletter (skip to where the new issue starts) brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace.
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September 1, 2012
Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #052
The Courage Of Kindness
Only Healthy Anger Is Strong
Contents of this newsletter
What's new on the web site?
Some new visitor stories by good folks just like you, who want to deal with the anger in their lives in healthier ways. Check out How Much Anger Is Normal In A Romantic Relationship?. I think you'll also enjoy Adult Child Who Needs Coping Skills And Anger Control and Nothing Is Ever Good Enough For My Husband After 18 Years Of Marriage.
Many site-wide updates and improvements, to make your experience better and more rewarding every time you visit. New images, fewer ads, and rewritten pages to give you more of what you come to the site for--anger management help for you and your family.
Check Out Our Facebook Page! It gives you all of the latest updates from Dr. DeFoore and visitors like you. To follow us on Facebook, just go to Anger Management Resource by Dr. William DeFoore and click on "Like" at the top of the page--or, follow us on Twitter!
Visit Goodfinding.com, Dr. DeFoore's other web site. Find lots of positive, upbeat perspectives to help you with your anger management, and sign up for the Goodfinding Newsletter. You can read the current issue of Goodfinding here.
Why Is Anger Easier Than Kindness?
Getting angry is a no-brainer. What I mean is, you don't usually decide to get angry, it just takes over. And the part of your brain that triggers your anger is just not that smart. It's survival-based, and operates on a hair-trigger when you feel threatened or opposed.
Being kind might be natural for some people, but for many of us it has to be a decision, which uses more brain power, and takes more energy. Let's look at some other reasons anger is easier than kindness:
- Anger is a protective emotion, and it comes right out of fear (although most people don't know or admit that). Therefore, anger is actually based on weakness, and is only truly healthy and strong when it is paired up with love and wisdom, and then it becomes dedication, committment, focus and clarity.
- Kindness is a generous, giving emotion that comes from a sense of love and well being. So, kindness comes from strength.
- Anger might seem tough, but you have to be really tough to be kind.
- Why do you have to be tough to be kind? Because when you're being kind your heart is open, and you have to be tough enough to take that risk, and protect your heart if somebody lashes out at you while it's open.
Use your healthy anger and make up your mind to be kind. Courage is actually the best part of anger, and it requires an open heart...the "cour" part of courage means "heart."
The hardest part of this is mastering your own internal emotions. You have to get to know your anger to do this. Use the exercises on this page to get the job done.
Where Can I Find The Courage To Be Kind?
The simple answer is, right inside you, in the heart of your good heart. The problem is, I realize, that you may have hardened your heart, or your heart may be broken.
Here's what you can do to heal your heart and open it up in kindness:
- Make a list of all of the memories you have, that wounded your heart, or caused you to close it to other people (that's also when you started becoming angry).
- Use these imagery processes to heal those wounds, and open your heart. This will make you stronger and more courageous.
- The courage you find while looking into your tender, wounded heart will give you the strength to be kind to others.
- I want you to consider that you are naturally a courageous, kind and loving human being. You may have been living with a hard angry shell around your wounded heart, but that's just scar tissue...it's not who you really are.
This is what you were born for, to connect with the goodness and kindness inside you, and around you.
It takes courage to be kind. Don't fool yourself into thinking that anger is strong. It's not--it comes right out of fear. Real strength is kindness.
This audio CD program, also available for download as an MP3 file to play on your computer, iPod or other MP3 player, will help you shift your focus to the blessings and goodness in yourself and the world around you, which will help you open your heart and find the courage of kindness.
P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.
P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!
Good And Angry--How To Be Both
Let me hear from you!Comments? Ideas? Feedback? I'd love to hear from you. Just reply to this ezine and tell me what you think! If you have ideas for future Healing Anger Newsletter issues, I'm open to considering them. Here is your opportunity to get involved--I might even include your comments, story or link in a future issue of this ezine.
Also, as I mentioned above I would very much like your testimonial or endorsement if you have purchased a product--or if you downloaded our free E-book!
Don't forget! We want to hear your story, and when you submit it you get your own web page on the site! Take a look at the categories you can write in now. It's easy!
Thanks for being here!
William G. DeFoore
Disclosure: William DeFoore is an authorized affiliate of Legacy Publishing Company, A.J. Novick Group, Inc.,
Think Right Now International, Inc., SiteSell, Inc. and the Institute of HeartMath.