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Dr. DeFoore's Healing Anger Newsletter entitled "How Do I Bring An End To This Battle Inside?"
June 15, 2021

Why Am I At War With Myself?
And How Can I Find Peace?

internal conflict

June 15, 2021
Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #157

Archive issue from April,2018

Contents Of This Newsletter

Why Do You Get Angry With Yourself?

Surprisingly, you get angry with yourself because you have an idea about how you should be, and it's hard to measure up to that. Welcome to the human race...we all do this.

You were designed to improve. It's built into your DNA. That's why your mind thinks about how you should be, always setting high standards and expectations.

Let's look at how this works:

  • You got this idea of how you should be from others. Parents, teachers, ministers, etc. have laid out for you the "right" way to be, but who really feels that they measure up to those standards?

  • You also have an internal sense of the wonderful person you could actually be, and this standard can be difficult, or you can transform it into an opportunity for growth (see below).

  • So, you went one of two directions. You either kept trying to measure up, and kept failing, or you gave up on that and decided to just do whatever you want regardless

  • Either way, you're going to end up being angry at yourself at some level. You'll be angry at yourself for failing in your continued efforts to be "good," or you'll be angry at yourself for selling out and deciding to be "bad."

  • Keep in mind that this is most likely happening on a subconscious level, so you may not be aware of it.

The good news here is that you truly want to be a good person. The not-so-good news is that you might have a hard time measuring up to what you think a good person is.

"Focus on what you like about yourself right now, and always look forward to getting better with time, as you move toward your ideal."

William DeFoore

The most important thing is to never give up on yourself. Many abusers with extreme anger problems have given up on their own inner goodness, and that can only lead to pain and suffering.

All you need is some peace of mind...right? Well, let's see how we can get you moving in that direction.

Keep your positive connections working for you by discovering all of the ways to participate in the Goodfinding Community Online page.

inner peace

How Can You Make Peace With Yourself?

This is something you are always seeking, whether you realize it or not. Think about why you do the things that you do, and you'll find that the ultimate goal is to feel happy, content and peaceful inside yourself.

Making peace with yourself is so very important, for so many reasons. Meditation is the practice of inner peace, for example, and studies have shown that regular meditation leads to better health, better mental focus, and healthy brains during the aging process.

Here are some steps to take:

  • Make peace with your past, by healing old emotional wounds.

  • Inner peace is like a muscle, because it gets stronger with practice. And meditation is the best practice for peace.

  • Another great way to practice peace is positive journaling. When you keep your mind focused in a positive direction, you will naturally feel more peaceful.

  • Get very clear about the emerging vision of the person you choose to become, as a result of your experience and growth.

  • Finally, take a look at the image above. Use that for your journaling, or just in your thought processes. Love all of the good things about who, how and where you are now, and look forward to things getting better and better!

The peace you want is already in there inside you, waiting for you. You just have to make sure you visit often.

You can do this. You've got what it takes. Make up your mind to practice some of these techniques for at least 21 days, and you'll see some positive results.



This highly effective audio program, available as a CD or MP3 download, will help you bring a sense of ease and comfort to your heart and soul.

Take advantage of the free previews when you click on the image above, and the no-risk return policy that guarantees your satisfaction.

Welcome To New Subscribers

The Healing Anger Newsletter brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace.

If you like this ezine, please do a friend and me a big favor and "pay it forward" by forwarding it to them. If a friend did forward this to you and if you like what you read, please subscribe by visiting the Healing Anger Newsletter subscription page.

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What's New On The Web Site?

New web pages for you. I just published a new web page called, Surviving Infidelity that will help you figure out the next best steps if you're in an unfaithful marriage or relationship. Read new contributions from good folks like you, such as Can People Change? by a young woman only 9 months into a relationship that has already become abusive, and He Refuses To Leave My House by woman in a very difficult relationship.

Check Out Our Facebook Page! It gives you all of the latest updates from Dr. DeFoore and visitors like you. To follow us on Facebook, just go to Anger Management Resource by Dr. William DeFoore and click on "Like" at the top of the page -- or, follow us on Twitter!

Our Other Web Site! That's right, Dr. DeFoore (that's me) has created another web site that is all about helping you feel good about yourself and the world around you. Visit and find lots of positive, upbeat perspectives to help you with your anger and every aspect of your life, and sign up for the Goodfinding Newsletter, and/or the Daily Goodfinding Quotes.

P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.

P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype and Face Time video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!

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