[Our thoughts and prayers go out to all those affected by the storm in northeast U.S.]
The Healing Anger Newsletter (skip to where the new issue starts) brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace.
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Would you like to lend a helping hand? If you have purchased a book, CD or audio download, I would very much like to hear what you thought of your product! With your permission, I will publish your comments, with your name, on my web site to help other visitors like yourself learn more about the products. This would be a big help!
Oh! By the way, did you get your free E-book? If so, after you've had a chance to read it and try some of the Anger Management Techniques, write to me and let me know what you think!
November 1, 2012
Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #054
From Angry To Assertive
Healthy, Powerful Communication
Contents of this newsletter
What's new on the web site?
Our regularly updated blog
not only announces newly added web pages and visitor stories, it also gives helpful news items and videos that you will find very interesting. Visit the blog now
, and check out "Video Game Called Rage Control
Helps Kids With Anger Management" and "UK Tantrum Club Gives Women A Healthy Anger Release."
New visitor-contributed pages
, such as I'm Having Trouble With My Twelve Year Old Daughter
and I'm Having Anger Blackouts And I Feel Broken
, both important stories from good folks like you, just trying to make their lives better.
Check Out Our Facebook Page!
It gives you all of the latest updates from Dr. DeFoore and visitors like you. To follow us on Facebook, just go to Anger Management Resource by Dr. William DeFoore
and click on "Like" at the top of the page--or, follow us on Twitter
, Dr. DeFoore's other web site. Find lots of positive, upbeat perspectives to help you with your anger management, and sign up for the Goodfinding Newsletter
. You can read the current issue of Goodfinding here
What Is Assertiveness?
You've heard the word "assertive," but what does it really mean? It basically means being clear and effective in your communication, without losing control or hurting anyone.
It would have been great if we had all learned this as kids, but it just didn't happen. So, let's start learning it now:
- Assertiveness is saying what you want and don't want, or what you like and don't like, in a calm and clear manner.
- Being assertive means communicating to others, "This is where I stand."
- It means standing up for yourself, without jumping on anyone else.
- Assertiveness skills allow you to get your point across, get good service, and make yourself heard when you need to be.
- Assertiveness training is something you absolutely need in order to get along in this world, be an effective parent, and create a healthy marriage or love relationship.
Everyone who is successful knows how to be assertive to some extent, or they wouldn't be successful.
Assertiveness is an essential part of communication skills in any workplace relationship or romantic relationship.
How Can I Learn To Be More Assertive?
The first step is to heal your anger. You can't be successfully assertive when you're out of control with your anger.
Once that's accomplished, it's a matter of learning and practicing the assertiveness skills.
Here are the steps you can take to be more asserive:
- make sure your anger is healthy. The anger test will help you decide.
- The next step is to decide what really matters most to you--that gives you a glimpse of your values. Your assertiveness will need to be lined up with your values, or it will not come across like you mean it.
- Start focusing on what you like, and what you want in life. Shift your focus away from what you don't like and don't want--that helps you not get so angry.
- Now practice telling people what you like about them and the world around you.
- Next, start practicing assertiveness by telling people in a calm, straight-forward manner, "I would like..." "What I'm really looking for here..." and "What I want is..." The trick is you have to stay calm and focused, no matter how they react. Assertiveness doesn't guarantee you will get what you want, but it works a lot better than anger, because it isn't destructive.
Learn more about assertiveness training here. Becoming consistently assertive requires dedication and consistency, but you can do this if you set your heart and mind to it.
Make up your mind, to do this, and you will succeed. Never give up on yourself and what you want in life, as long as it brings no harm to others.
This audio CD program, also available for download as an MP3 file to play on your computer, iPod or other MP3 player, will help you learn to heal your anger and express it in healthy ways.
P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.
P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!
What Is Working For You?
Let me hear from you!Comments? Ideas? Feedback? I'd love to hear from you. Just reply to this ezine and tell me what you think! If you have ideas for future Healing Anger Newsletter issues, I'm open to considering them. Here is your opportunity to get involved--I might even include your comments, story or link in a future issue of this ezine.
Also, as I mentioned above I would very much like your testimonial or endorsement if you have purchased a product--or if you downloaded our free E-book!
Don't forget! We want to hear your story, and when you submit it you get your own web page on the site! Take a look at the categories you can write in now. It's easy!
Thanks for being here!
William G. DeFoore
Disclosure: William DeFoore is an authorized affiliate of Legacy Publishing Company, A.J. Novick Group, Inc.,
Think Right Now International, Inc., SiteSell, Inc. and the Institute of HeartMath.