The Healing Anger Newsletter (skip to where the new issue starts) brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace.
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December 1, 2012
Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #055
Transform Your Disappointment
Into Satisfaction And Hope
Contents of this newsletter
What's new on the web site?
A fascinating new web page!
Learn how to Soothe Your Reptilian Brain
, which will help you with to be more calm, relaxed and focused in all that you do. You may already know this,
but anger comes straight from the reptilian brain, so this is important!
New visitor-contributed pages
, such as Ripping The Door Off The Hinges
and My Anger Is In The Driver's Seat And It Keeps Getting Worse
, by a very bright 15 year old guy with a good heart--just like you.
Check Out Our Facebook Page!
It gives you all of the latest updates from Dr. DeFoore and visitors like you. To follow us on Facebook, just go to Anger Management Resource by Dr. William DeFoore
and click on "Like" at the top of the page--or, follow us on Twitter
, Dr. DeFoore's other web site. Find lots of positive, upbeat perspectives to help you with your anger management, and sign up for the Goodfinding Newsletter
. You can read the current issue of Goodfinding here
How Did I Get So Disappointed?
If you're not disappointed, that's great! But too many good folks are, so let's take a look at how this happens. It's never a plan, meaning nobody ever sets out to be disappointed in their life, their job or their relationships.
It happens in a very natural, unconscious way, and that's why it's so common. Here are the unconscious "steps" we take that lead us to disappointment:
- It all starts with hopes and expectations.
- You hoped that your parents would provide what you needed and keep you safe, but that didn't always happen.
- You expected your friend, boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse to keep being that wonderful person you thought they were, and they turned out to be a lot more complicated than that (we all are).
- You hoped for success and great income from your job, but it doesn't always work out like that.
- You got disappointed, and you might even have given up. This is when disappointment can lead to despair, depression and anger.
So, as you can see, disappointment is a natural feeling, that everyone has at some point. You just don't want to stay disappointed.
Now we're going to talk about how you can use the same process that leads to disappointment to create hope, optimism and enthusiasm about your future.
How Can I Turn Disappointment Into Satisfaction?
Disappointment starts when you want something, and you start looking forward to it with some degree of excitement or optimism. In other words, you thought it was going to happen.
Then the disappointment came when it didn't turn out the way you expected. This is a familiar story for many of us.
Here are the steps you can take to transform your disappointment into hope and satisfaction:
- Go back to the beginning of your disappointment...what did you want? What did you expect?
- Now decide if you still want that, or if you want something new. Be very clear about what you want, and write it down.
- Journal about why you want it. Be very specific about all of the reasons you want what you want, and again journal about it.
- Now think about and journal about how you will feel when you have what you want, and what will be different about you and your life when you are satisfied.
- Shift your attention to why you think you will have what you want. Focus on your own strengths, skills and positive aspects here. Get really optimistic and enthusiastic in this part.
- Repeat this process on a daily basis, until it becomes a kind of natural background program. Be patient and hopeful, and you may get exactly what you want. Any time the disappointment starts to creep back in, repeat this process.
This is how you create your own reality. Whatever happens, look for the good in it, the blessing behind the problem, and you'll never be disappointed.
This is a matter of taking responsibility for yourself and your happiness, instead of being disappointed in life, or in others for not meeting your expectations.
This audio CD program, also available for download as an MP3 file to play on your computer, iPod or other MP3 player, will help you learn to transform disappointment into hope, fulfillment and satisfaction.
P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser.
P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype video phone) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session!
Soothe The Savage Beast
Let me hear from you!Comments? Ideas? Feedback? I'd love to hear from you. Just reply to this ezine and tell me what you think! If you have ideas for future Healing Anger Newsletter issues, I'm open to considering them. Here is your opportunity to get involved--I might even include your comments, story or link in a future issue of this ezine.
Also, as I mentioned above I would very much like your testimonial or endorsement if you have purchased a product--or if you downloaded our free E-book!
Don't forget! We want to hear your story, and when you submit it you get your own web page on the site! Take a look at the categories you can write in now. It's easy!
Thanks for being here!
William G. DeFoore
Disclosure: William DeFoore is an authorized affiliate of Legacy Publishing Company, A.J. Novick Group, Inc.,
Think Right Now International, Inc., SiteSell, Inc. and the Institute of HeartMath.