Now Available! Dr. DeFoore's New Book GOODFINDING
by Magdalene Dawson
(Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
Over the past year & before I had purchased CDs from you on anger management for children & teens & also on couples relationships. So far the info contained has been most beneficial:
1) CDs on Anger Management
- very informative, useful for my son (4 yrs old)
Q: Where can I find more info to help me deal with one of my children (9 yrs old daughter) who has a very "strong" inner critic, & a "poor" inner coach personality?
2) CDs on Couple Relationship for me
- have seen some improvement in my relationship with my spouse
- discovered that some areas will need the co-operation of my spouse in order to improve
Q: My perception & knowledge & past experience of my spouse is that he will not agree to listen to ANY improvement CD, or read. Due to this I have not ventured /given up to ask him to.... do you have any suggestions?
Response from Dr. DeFoore
Thank you so much for your feedback, Magdalene. I'm glad the CDs have been helpful. Here are my answers to your two questions:
First Question: You asked about where to find information about helping your daughter manager her "inner critic" and develop her "inner coach."
Answer: The most detailed information you will find on that is in my book entitled, Anger Among Angels. That book has an entire chapter devoted to "The Loving Protector" which is another term for the "inner coach." It also talks about "The Destructive Protector" which is another term for the "inner critic." You can purchase that book on this site, and as with all of our products, you have a 100% money-back guarantee.
You asked what to do regarding your husband, in light of his unwillingness to read or listen to any CDs. Here are my suggestions:
1. Love him like he is. I know this is challenging, but the more you love him, while also continuing to speak your truth and stand your ground about what is right, the more likely he will be to change.
2. Use the reflective listening skills you will find on this page. Practice the skills of reflective listening and expressing empathy on an ongoing basis until they become habit. Of course it is better when he's practicing these skills with you, but you can help a lot just be using them on your own when you're around him.
3. Write down all of the things you love and appreciate about your husband. Do this daily, or at least 4-5 times a week. When it feels appropriate, tell him what you appreciate about him. This may not solve any problems, but it will help with everything, as long as your expressions of appreciation are sincere.
4. Believe in the best of him, believe in yourself, and believe in your relationship--no matter what. Keep the faith.
Thank you again for taking the time to tell me how the products helped, and to ask your other questions.
That's what this site is all about!
My best to you,
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