Worried For My Child

by Jenny
(NY)

I don't know how to manage my anger. I have only realized that I have an anger management problem of late.

I feel there were always signs of it, because I can jump to a ten (on your anger assessment scale) in a heartbeat. But of late, I get to a nine all the time with my significant other, who I am convinced also has anger management problems.

Just realizing he has problems with anger, and that I have to not react to his as a trigger is useful. He berates and belittles me constantly, and I react.

I need to pay attention to my stress more. Realize that I have stress going on in my job, in my relationship and with my son. And when it starts I need to warn him that I am feeling that kind of tension and that I need him to know that.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Thanks, Jenny. I'm glad the scale has been helpful to you.

You didn't say anything about the child you mentioned in your title, so I assume that you want to manage your anger to protect your child. That is very, very good. You're good, and that's why you want to keep your child safe.

I encourage you to try the journaling exercises on this page, to get even deeper in healing your anger. When you do the "Trauma Writing" part, it will show you how your triggers got to be triggers. Then, when you do these imagery processes for emotional healing to take care of any underlying emotional trauma, you will disable the triggers entirely.

If your boyfriend is interested, share this with him as well.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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