Totally Out Of Control

by Nick
(Tennessee)

I have always had a slight temper but here lately it's been crazy. I just got off work and noticed that they shorted my check 12 hours of overtime and I lost it.

When I got in the car I started punching my oven pan which I had cause I brought in food from home. It is now smashed all to hell, and I should feel some sort of pain--but when I get that far it's like I don't know what I'm doing. It's kinda like blacking out. It's happened to me in fights and I hate it.

I build so much up after a short period of time and then the smallest thing will make me snap. I yell and raise my voice a lot at home but at least there I control it because that's not the place to act like an ass. It just drives me nuts. I'm very forgetful and I'm always thinking the negative.

Even when my wife who I love more than anything goes out with her friend, it drives me to the point where I won't care what she's doing or who she's with. And I think about hurting the first person who crosses me wrong. Bottom line is, I can't take it any more. I want this feeling gone.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Nick, and thanks for telling your story here. You don't like your short temper and aggressive behavior, because it's not a match for who you really are inside. The good person inside you asked for help here, and I will offer what I can.


I think you will find that all of the exercises described on this FAQ page will be very helpful to you in understanding, redirecting and healing your anger and the emotions behind it. These are tools, and they are only useful if you use them long enough to get comfortable with them. If you're really sincere in your desire to get better with your anger, you will use these tools.

I also suggest that you check out the audio CDs/downloads on this page, to see which ones you need to help you in your healing. I strongly encourage you to check out these online anger management classes, and consider signing up for the one that best suits your needs.

You can do this, Nick. You've got what it takes, if you set your heart and mind to it.

Believe in the goodness of your heart.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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