We're going to look at the normal development of anger in a child, and how tantrums can fit right into that.
We will also look at how these types of emotional "fits" can be an indicator of something else going on.
The good news is, the family often has the solution to the problem. And you're going to learn what that is right here.
I encourage you to feel confident in your ability to learn, and to do what it takes to get this done.
Tantrums, and "angry crying" can be a natural part of a child's experimentation with the emotion of anger. Anger is a protective emotion, and it plays a healthy role in child development. It is the "pushing back" and "standing up" emotion that keeps pain, sorrow and fear (which are also natural) from being debilitating.
Where did the idea of the "terrible two's" come from? The emotion of anger usually starts showing up in a child between the ages of 18 and 36 months. The development of anger in a child is as much a milestone as learning to walk and talk.
Here are some examples of normal temper tantrums:
But, here's the problem:
Get the picture? Since the development of anger in a child is totally normal and natural, it could actually make a child more angry when their anger is punished.
Temper tantrums can most certainly be an indication that something is wrong. It never means that your child is bad. It always means that they need your help.
Here are some things to watch for:
There are a lot of other warning signs of child anger problems, but these basic guidelines will get you headed in the right direction. Now let's look at some solutions to explore if you decide that your child really has a problem and this is not just a normal developmental process.
First priority is to make sure you are addressing your own anger issues as a parent, if you have any. Please complete one of our anger management worksheets to assess your anger level.
Once you're sure that either you don't have an anger problem< or that you are dealing with it, then you will be much more successful in helping your child with her/his temper tantrums.
Okay, let's get started with solutions to your problem:
If you follow all of the above links, read the information, and start practicing the methods you have learned, I think you'll get the results you're looking for. If not, please contact us for a counseling session, to make sure you are giving your child the help they need to become their own best anger management resource and prevent temper tantrums.
Return to child anger management.