Should I Leave A Bad Marriage Even With A Small Child?

by J

I met my husband when we were both active duty in the Navy. We have been together for 6 years and married for 5.

When I was still active duty everything was great but as time passed I found out that he has had multiple online affairs and one in person that ended just 3 weeks before our wedding. On top of it he has serious anger issues and I find that I have now become very quiet and reserved when I used to be a very loud and energetic person.

I am always worried that I will say or do something that will cause a fight and I'm so tired of fighting because in the end I always feel like I'm wrong even if it was him who really hurt my feelings originally. It always gets turned into making me feel guilty, so I have just given up.

When friends are over I try and stay as quiet as possible because I never know what I will say or do that will offend him and cause a fight later in the evening. We have an 18 month old daughter who is my world and loves her daddy too, and that's the main reason I stay.

I can't imagine missing out on a single second of her life and I know with divorce there is split custody and I don't want to miss anything so I stay. But the depression in me has gotten much worst.

I was in a prior abusive relationship in which I was physically, emotionally and sexually abused. When I left I swore I would never let someone control me and hurt me again, and while it's not physical or sexual this time, it still hurts. And my self-worth is pretty low.

He grew up with a very abusive father both physically and emotionally so I feel like he really doesn't know that he is being abusive. I don't want to leave because I feel like it will blind side him. I hide everything so deep that he doesn't really even know that there is a problem.

I am just scared to talk to him about it for fear that it will turn into a fight that gets turned back around on me. I'm at a loss and don't really know what to do.