Scared About The Future

by Amber
(Tupelo, MS)

My boyfriend and I broke up before he went into the army. I was the one that broke up with him because I couldn't handle him leaving. While when we were together I cheated on him.

We broke up for three months and during those three months I dated the same guy I cheated on him with. I broke up with him to go back with my old boyfriend. Well now that we got back together we acted like nothing went wrong and went along with the same plans as before.

But now 5 months into the relationship he wants to take some steps back. I completely understand but now he is saying he doesn't love me like he used to. He thinks I'm going to cheat on him like I did before.

But I know I won't because I love him more now then I ever did. He is supposed to come home in about 15 days and we're going to see how it is when we're together. I'm just so worried that he won't like me anymore, and vise versa.

Everyone has said, "Well, if it's meant to be it will be." I agree but also I'm so scared to lose him I don't know what I would do.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Amber, and thanks for telling your story here. I can tell you're having a hard time, and I'll try to help.


Emotional healing in a relationship after unfaithfulness is very difficult, but you two can do it if you're really committed to the relationship and you really love each other.

You are both going to have to do some work on yourselves to heal. And of course, over time, if you're faithful to him, his trust will return and grow.

I think the best thing for you to do personally is to focus on feeling good about yourself and forgiving yourself, rather than being so worried about whether things are going to be good between the two of you. You need to be good with you, first and foremost.

Also read these pages, and follow the recommendations that seem to fit for you:

quotes on relationships
relationship advice

Also, you and your boyfriend might want to look over these CDs and books to see if you would be interested in any of them for healing your relationship.

I wish you all the best in reconnecting with your boyfriend.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission to help you become your own best anger management resource.

P.P.S. If you got something of value here, We would also greatly appreciate it if you would provide a written testimonial about the site, Dr. DeFoore's help, or one of our products.