Boundaries are an emotional matter, because it's your emotions that will tell you when somebody is crossing them.
If you're not emotionally healthy though, your boundaries will be too big, too fuzzy, or they won't even exist--at least as far as you know.
This can be a tricky business, understanding personal boundaries, but it's very important to your happiness that you understand and be able to take care of yourself in this way.
As this diagram shows, the hear of the matter is your relationship with yourself. Next comes the role you decide to play in your relationship, whether it be husband, wife, parent, girlfriend, boyfriend or just friend. Then, the boundaries in the relationship directly reflect how well you care for yourself, and what kind of role you choose to play.
Most people don't understand what boundaries are, and yet they're very important to your happiness and the health of your relationships.
Here are some ways of understanding what we're talking about here:
For example, if you're a financial advisor it's fine to ask your client about their personal finances, but if you barely know someone, it's a boundary violation to ask about their money situation. All forms of verbal abuse are examples of boundary violation.
This arena of nonverbal boundaries is actually huge, and we certainly cannot cover all its aspects here. It even includes sound and light violation, as with a neighbor's barking dog or someone shining a bright light into the windows of your home. Fortunately, to have healthy boundaries, you don't have to know all of those details, you just need to know yourself.
Now let's look at where they come from.
It would be great if you could just go and buy them somewhere, but it doesn't work like that.
Healthy personal boundaries arise from your emotional well being, and your relationship with yourself. Let's look a little deeper into that idea:
It seems a lot of folks think that you have to set boundaries for other people, or they won't exist. Fortunately, that's just not the case.
The healthier you are, and the better relationship you have with your self, the more powerful and effective your boundaries
They come from your emotions, and how you feel about yourself deep inside.
You may already have an idea of where we're going from here.
Since boundaries are different according to your emotional well being, it follows that emotional healing would be a key part of building healthy boundaries.
Here are the steps to take:
Do yourself a favor, and follow this link to healthier personal boundaries.
Sep 08, 17 06:29 PM
I've been married 18 years to someone 12 years older than me. He was such a charmer at first, it was hard to be away from him. He changed when I moved
Sep 07, 17 04:00 PM
I've only been with my partner for three months. I can be quite clingy and overbearing sometimes, as I've been told in past relationships, so when I
Sep 06, 17 06:37 PM
I can be an angry person and abusive toward the people I love the most. My wife is fantastic and my children are amazing but I criticized them and hurt