What Causes Passive Aggressive Behavior?

The causes go all the way back to your first temper tantrums and how your parents dealt with them. Most of us got the message that our anger was bad, and so we learned very early in life to stuff it and keep it inside. What's more, we learned that anger is bad and we're bad for having it.

The Causes Of Passive Aggressive Behavior

If you think your anger is bad and you're bad for having it, then you are very likely to become passive aggressive at some point. Here's why:

• Anger is a natural emotion, and just because you think it's bad doesn't mean it goes away.



Healthy Anger

• When you stuffed it, it went into your subconsciou mind, which is where most passive aggressive behavior comes from.


• Since the anger is still there, and it's a powerful dynamic energy, it looks for a way to get out.


• You don't let it out consciously, because you think it's bad.


• Therefore, it comes out unconsciously, in the form of passive aggressive words and actions that have messages you didn't really intend.

Other things that can cause this type of problem are:

• You have exploded in anger in the past, and you made up your mind not to do it again--but you never learned how to get your anger out in healthy ways, so it comes out in passive aggressive ways.


• You had experiences in your past that taught you that you are supposed to be nice and never hurt anyone's feelings--"don't make waves."


• You learned early in life that if you showed anger you would get in trouble.


• You think you don't have any anger at all.

Looking for solutions to passive aggressive behavior? Okay, I suggest you begin practicing these anger management techniques and doing these journaling exercises right away. If you want more in-depth guidance or information, check out our products and counseling services.

Here are some steps to consider:

• Find out what is behind your anger (journaling).


• Get started with the healing process, to prevent future passive aggressive behavior.


• Be sure you understand and know how to express your anger in healthy ways.


• Learn how to shift your focus to the good things in your life.

Keep in mind that passive aggressive behavior does not mean you're a bad person. It just means you never learned how to get your anger out in direct, healthy ways--and here's your chance!

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