Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (O.D.D.) is a scary diagnosis. But you don't have to be scared! We'll point you to the skills and training that will help you manage your child and bring out their best behavior.

Learn the causes and what to do about it right here. You are going to discover exactly what you need to know to get this problem solved once and for all.

It's all about using your good heart and mind to give your child what s/he needs.

According to the DSM-IV-TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), O.D.D. is "an ongoing pattern of disobedient, hostile and defiant behavior toward authority figures which goes beyond the bounds of normal childhood behavior."

In other words, your kid is angry, belligerent, in your face and won't do what you ask him to. Well, you're not alone. Many parents face the problem of defiant children, and many parents have solved the problem!

The following is more information from DSM-IV-TR:

Diagnostic Criteria for Oppositional Defiant Disorder

1. A pattern of negativistic, hostile, and defiant behavior lasting at least 6 months, during which four (or more) of the following are present:
Note: Consider a criterion met only if the behavior occurs more frequently than is typically observed in individuals of comparable age and developmental level.
1. often loses temper
2. often argues with adults
3. often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules
4. often deliberately annoys people
5. often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
6. is often touchy or easily annoyed by others
7. is often angry and resentful
8. is often spiteful or vindictive
2. The disturbance in behavior causes clinically significant impairment in social, academic, or occupational functioning.
3. The behaviors do not occur exclusively during the course of a psychotic or mood disorder.
4. Criteria are not met for conduct disorder, and, if the individual is age 18 years or older, criteria are not met for antisocial personality disorder.

If the child meets at least four of these criteria, and they are interfering with the child's ability to function, then he or she technically meets the definition of oppositionally defiant.

There are many possible causes of an oppositional disorder in defiant children. For our purposes here, we're going to look at three main categories:

1. The child has not learned the necessary skills for appropriate social behavior, and so they resort to more primitive and aggressive behavior that requires little or no training. The other ingredient necessary for O.D.D. to develop for this type of child is inadequate guidance or absence of guidance by parents and other authorities. Defiant children in this scenario get the impression that their aggression and anger is effective in dealing with adults authority figures.



2. A variation on the above situation would be that of a spoiled child. Children who are spoiled develop an inflated sense of self-importance, and become demanding and dominant with all those around them. The child then becomes angry and aggressive in an effort to get her/his way.
3. The final category of causes we will explore is negative role modeling. If one or both of a child's parent is opposional, aggressive and/or violent, it is very possible for the child to develop the symptoms of oppositional defiant disorder.

As you can see in each of the above scenarios, we are not talking about "bad" children, or anything having to do with the idea of a "bad seed." Children all come into the world with the potential to develop in any number of different directions. While some kids are certainly more naturally aggressive, even those children can be taught the necessary social and emotional control skills to function well at home, in school and in society.

The good news here is, since oppositional defiant disorder is not a result of a child just being "bad," many effective treatments are available.

The most common effective treatments for oppositional defiant disorder are parent training programs, individual psychotherapy, family therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and social skills training.

The most effective treatment I have ever come across (Dr. DeFoore here) is the Total Transformation Program with James Lehman, MSW. James has guided thousands of parents to family harmony and great behavior management with defiant children.

You've probably noticed, if you been around this site, that I offer a lot of my own books, CDs and programs. And, my topics include anger management for children, including defiant children. So, you might ask, why am I promoting James Lehman's program instead of my own?

Because he has done something I haven't done! James has created a highly focused specialty with his Total Transformation Program, which goes much further into how to deal with O.D.D. than I have, or plan to.

I see James Lehman and his very helpful information, tips and guidance as the state of the art resource for parents dealing with defiant children.

One of the things I like about James Lehman's TTP for oppositional defiant disorder is that he focuses on skills! That's right...he focuses on:

And that is exactly what you need. Understanding causes, developing a loving relationship with your chlid, having empathy with their feelings...all of those are important. However, without the skill building components, lasting change will not occur.

I have listened to this program myself, and I can guarantee you that it is professionally produced, fun to listen to, and most importantly, it hits the nail on the head.

Return to child anger management or adolescent anger management.