One Person Really Angers Me

by Marly
(London)

My boyfriend had a girlfriend who is completely mental--not mental, that's just what I say. She lied about being pregnant 5 times and pushed him away.

We've been together 5 months and she's still getting on my nerves. As soon as I see her face or hear her name I can feel my blood boiling. They are allowed to be friends but she still takes it too far and he still goes round her house.

I get the feeling of stabbing her. I know I won't but I get so angry and I can't help thinking that way. Is it just me, or is it because it's splitting us up?

Help.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Marly, and thanks for telling your story here. I can tell you're having a hard time, and I'll try to help.

You don't have any control over your boyfriend or the other girl, but you can gain control over your anger. These are really separate problems...meaning, your anger reaction is separate from what they're doing.

Here is what I recommend, if you want to work on your anger:

Do the journaling exercises on this page. They will really help, but only if you do them.

You have to start putting yourself first in your life and in your mind. You have to love yourself more than you love your boyfriend. Once you start doing this, you will only stay with him if he treats you well, is loyal to you, and makes you happy. Consider working on your self esteem, if you think that is an issue for you.

Love yourself Marly, and then figure out if this guy is worthy of being with someone as good and worthy as you are.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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