On The Road Again

by Wayne
(Leaving Georgia)

It is time once again to pack my bags and move onto another location. It is the story of my life. I have been on the move since I was a child. Since I was a child I believe that I have moved approximately 45 times, keeping in mind that I am only 53 years old. Those moves don't include all of the times that I had to go some place for a special cause and was gone for some one to three months. The traveling encompassed all but a couple states in the Union, along with Canada, Mexico, England, and Europe.

Some of my moving has been in the middle of the night where my family couldn't be seen and some has been like a military mobilization of personnel and equipment. I have been exposed to so many people, so many places, so much history, so many diverse environments, that I don't believe it possible to describe them all in a single sitting.

I must say like all things it has been good and bad. Because of the constant moving I couldn't become completely immersed in or aware of the slow movement of time that each of the places moved through. Sure, I swam through it, tasted it, smelt it, slept in it, took it in at an amazing rate, but time.....the slow passage of time allows a certain different experience. All of these experiences did trigger things within me that I wasn't even aware of till the most recent days.

With all of the moving I found it very difficult to develop truly deep relationships with those around me and with those that I did develop a deep relationship with, I feel the relationship existed long before the last meeting with them.

I am now wondering if I need to reach back and grieve the loss of connection of those that are in my past? Am I still connected to some of those in the past, possibly in an unhealthy way, because I didn't go through a proper grieving process?

I am not just talking about people. I am talking about the trees, the waters, the lands, the air. I am talking about the spirits that were around me that I became familiar with while living around and about. I am also talking about childhood toys that were left behind because of not having the space to bring them. I am talking about the perfect sledding hill, a beautiful overlook, a coffee shop, the perfect pizza.

I have felt connections around me not wanting me to leave. Some of those connections are sad, some are angry, some seem lost, some look at me with the knowing of the need to move on because of needing to get something done. There are of course those that are glad to see me go. Even the coarsest sandpaper, when finished, leaves a smoother surface.

I have some fears about the move forward. What will it bring? I have some sense of love and comfort for me there. In many ways it has the feeling of a deep relationship that I developed a long time ago.

But like in the past, I am moving to the next paragraph. God please guide me and mine. Please keep us safe. Please teach us what we need to learn. Please help us to heal what we are going to be triggered by. Please give us love and nurturing. Please always be with us.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Bon Voyage, Wayne! Fortunately, for those of us on this site, you will still be "here" wherever you go! We look forward to your stories once you've arrived in Florida. Travel well.