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Not Depressed, Just Angry

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Apr 29, 2009
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Dear Wanda
by: Abby

There's something in me that wants to say 'Congratulations for smacking that chick in the mouth'. Of course I couldn't say that but let me tell you I so know how it is to have an extremely annoying and even abusive person at work with a management too weak to do anything. You BOTH got the sack so my suspicion is that they would be grateful to you and used the incident as an excuse to get rid of her. In fact they all probably said 'Man, I wish I could have done that'.

Nonetheless my love, we can't let ourselves lose control or it would have, and in this case has had, a very bad outcome for those involved.

I am very concerned for you Wanda and of course, for your little girl. I was listening to a CD I got from Dr DeFoore about relationships and it said 'Imagine if the person you love was taken from you as can sometimes happen; just like that; they're gone'. Would you worry about how they didn't do this thing or that thing the way you liked it. No, you would just think about all the things you loved about them and miss them terribly.'

Wanda irrespective of whether or not you have a mood disorder (which you may have and you should go to a GP initially and tell him that's what you suspect), you are in control.

You HAVE to find the motivation that will stop you from harming your little girl and yelling at her and other abusive behaviour DOES HARM YOUR LITTLE ONE.

Your anger may be a chemical/hormonal imbalance that can be helped with medication but not ALL anger can get a chemical fix and so we need to learn techniques to handle emotional change. It may be that your challenges are greater in this area than other people but it is still your challenge.

It may be that there are unresolved issues from the past as Dr DeFoore has already mentioned. I have been in various abusive situations too and I know, when you have been placed in a situation, for instance, where you trust people and they betray/abuse you. The inner rage that comes from that is overwhelming.

For me, it came because I was terrified of looking after myself, of taking a stand against abusive people. I was grown up by that stage but I didn't know the process, I didn't know I was ok or of value and that I could DEMAND that I be treated well.

There is a proper way to do this though and I had to learn that I had the authority to look after myself. So one thing that you might consider is to look at what it is that you are afraid of. Tell us, on this site. Don't hide anything. This site, and being able to express yourself without fear on the most vulnerable things in your life, has been a wonderful and very unusual experience for me. I hope it is for you too.

Read the stories on here, there are some beauties and you will get support that you won't get anywhere else. At least, that has been my experience.

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