Never Forgiven

by Anonymous

I can not forgive my mother for what she did to me. She humiliated and abused me emotionally as a child. Now, when someone else attempts to do the same thing, I feel the same emotion of anger, bitterness, and vengefullness. It has ruined my life.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. Your life is not ruined. It just feels like it is.

Here's what I want you to do:

1) Use the journaling processes on this page, starting with the "Trauma Writing." Write in total detail about all of your memories of what your mother did to you. This has been shown to help, as difficult as it may be.

2) Then go to the next journaling exercise on that page, and write from your anger--do this on a daily basis, whether you're angry or not. This gives your anger "somewhere to go," and keeps it from building up inside.

3) When you feel ready, do these imagery processes for emotional healing, regarding each of the traumatic memories you wrote about.

4) When you're feeling some relief from the above two exercises, start with the Goodfinding writing processes, where you focus on the good things in your life. This is very important--don't leave it out.

Believe in yourself, and never give up on you. You are a good person, which is why you want things to be different, and that's also why you wrote for help on this site.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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