My Uncle Phil (Part Two)

by Anna

Laura did not get better. She is still in a mental hospital to this day. My mother told me recently that the psychologists found out that Laura had been skipping school when she was younger, and that she had been spending time with my Uncle Phil. I was shocked so hear that. When I was growing up, I had no idea that Laura was doing that.

Laura tried to kill herself once and it left her brain damaged. She has also had five heart attacks. When she had the last heart attack, they tried to revive her, but she would not come back. She was dead for so long that the doctors decided that if she was brought back, she would be a vegetable. However, one intern would not give up. He kept trying and trying to revive her until she finally came back to life. The doctors were amazed that not only was Laura alive again, but that her brain damage had improved and that she was no longer violent. Finally, that powerful energy had helped her.

The doctors say that they do not know why Laura is still alive now and that she could die at any time. I dread the call from my parents about it.

I often wondered why that powerful energy had not helped Laura with my Uncle Phil when we were children, like it had helped me. I became angry about that for awhile, but now I have come to terms with the fact that God has a wisdom I do not possess.

I struggle with the issue of personal power. It seemed like all of the people who were powerful over me when I was a child, were abusive. Uncle Phil appeared to be very powerful to me. If I ever get over my fear of power, I will strive to gain some kind of good power within me that will help my self and others. Perhaps the only real power that I can though is faith and a strong connection with God.

When my husband and I were going through the process of punching pillows and getting our anger out, I became brave enough to tackle the Uncle Phil memory. I asked my husband to stay close by me, and I started to punch pillows to try to release any pent up feelings I had about Phil. At first, I felt myself being surrounded by the darkest energy I'd ever felt. It seemed to be inside of me and all around me. My husband did not feel it, so I assume I was going through the memory of it. Then, as I got more and more fear and anguish out, I felt another energy that felt more like strength and love. I heard in my mind, "You are safe now".

What I believe that I have learned from this is that no matter how dark and dangerous someone is, there is an innocent child inside of them and inside of all of us. That innocent child came out of my Uncle Phil and showed itself for just a short while, but it was there.