My Friends Are Talking About Me And My Best Friend

by Anonymous

Well, my friends have a bad sense of humor, and I really am sick of how they like to talk about me and my best friend. So I would like to know how can I attack the problem and the people so I can let them know I feel?

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. I know this can be very upsetting, when others talk about you behind your back. I will try to help.

First of all, you need to look at your anger behind the word, "attack." Just to become more aware of your anger, do the journaling exercise on this page.

If you want to talk to them about this in a healthy way, you can just tell them you don't like what they're doing--however, that may very well backfire and make the problem worse. If they are really good friends, and healthy enough, you can use this conflict resolution process to work out your differences.

Then, after expressing your anger in this appropriate, healthy way, see if you can decide what you really want. If what you want is revenge, payback or retaliation, read this page on getting revenge.

If what you want is to feel better and get on with creating a good life for yourself, I suggest you focus on the positive aspects of yourself, your world, and your future. The positive journaling process described on this page will help you with that.

Ultimately, what you want is to be happy and safe. Use these exercises, and I think you'll get exactly that.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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