My Boyfriend Needs Help With His Anger

by Emily
(Utah)

Dr. DeFoore, I've been with my boyfriend for over two years. I love him so much, but his anger is getting to the point where I am afraid. We can barely talk about anything serious or even a tiny bit stressful without him exploding. I can see him just blow up inside.

I've tried many different tactics but none seem to work, what should I do?

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hi Emily, and thanks for asking your question here. You can't do anything at all about your boyfriend's anger. You have to take care of yourself. Pay attention to your fear--it's there for a reason.

Take a look at this page on how to deal with abusive relationships, and these quotes on relationships.

You might also find this page on the battered wife syndrome to be interesting. It's not clear to me that you're actually in a battered person situation, but you are showing some of the signs--specifically, you are in a relationship with someone who is abusive to you, and you're talking about how much you love him.

You have to learn to love yourself. Unless you do, you will have trouble in your relationships.

You are worthy of respect, Emily. Put your focus on yourself and what you want. Your boyfriend has to deal with his anger himself. Until he does, find a safe distance from which to love him.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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