My Boyfriend Is Stressed And Angry And Drinking

by Anonymous

I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years. We have a child together. He has recently started drinking more...he drinks to get drunk and to forget about his problems. We argue a lot over his drinking.

He's get very violent and yells a lot, including calling me vulgar names. He says that he knows he has anger issues and wants to stop the drinking. He is also willing to get help.

Currently, we can not afford to go to a counselor. So, I'm asking you for help. What should I do to help him? What can he do to help himself?
Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. It is good that you and your boyfriend both want help. That is because you know you're better than this problem.

Here is what I recommend:

1) Your boyfriend needs to join Alcoholics Anonymous, and work the 12 step program. This program works, if you do the 12 steps.

2) You need to join Alanon, a program to help people in relationship with alcoholics.

3) If he really wants to recover from his alcoholism, he will consider signing up for Alcohol Recovery Class Online. They offer 8, 16 and 24 hour online classes that are highly effective.

Until this happens, any other efforts you make will fail. The addiction has to be addressed first, before any type of emotional healing can occur. Once recovery is under way, then you can begin the emotional healing process.

When you are both in a program (AA and Alanon), contact me again, and I will help you with the emotional healing part.

You can read about the early warning signs of alcoholism on this page. It is essential that your boyfriend and you both acknowledge that he is an alcoholic, and this will help you.

It will also help you to begin journaling daily, as described on this page. Also look at these quotes on relationships, and see if they are helpful to you.

Make up your mind what you want, and don't let anything stop you.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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