My Anger Cost Me My Best Friend

by Allysen
(Illinois )

I have been having problems with handling my anger and it has taken over my life. I can't enjoy anything without getting upset. It is starting to ruin my relationships with people. I lost my best friend because I was unable to control my anger. What do I do?

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Allysen, and thanks for writing for help on this site. It sounds like you're really ready for some change, and you feel a kind of urgency about that--especially since you feel you've lost your best friend. As painful as that is, it's good in a way, because it makes it more likely that you will be willing to do some work that will help to solve your problem.

From what you've told me here, it appears that you have some underlying issues that need your attention. I will help you identify those and start an emotional healing process.

Here is what I suggest:

1) Start with the journaling processes you will find on this page. Follow the sequence, starting with "Trauma Writing" then going on from there to anger journaling and the positive journaling process. This will really help you--but you have to do the work.

2) Next, use these imagery processes for emotional healing, which will take you through a visualization process that will actually help you to heal your past. You will find this CD/audio download program to be helpful as well.

3) Practice these anger management techniques on a regular daily basis, until you can do them all easily. The CD program on this page will help with this, and you can also sign up for our free Healing Anger newsletter and receive a free Anger Management Techniques Ebook that will give you even more guidelines.

4) Check out the CD programs on this page, to see if any of those fit for your situation.

Believe in yourself, Allysen. You are a good person, and that's why you don't like the anger. The above exercises will help you to reconnect with the good person that you truly are, and act accordingly.

Never give up on yourself--use these tools and don't stop until you get what you want.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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