My 12 Year Old Blames Me For His Anger

by Felicia
(Hyattsville, MD)

My 12 year old had so much anger he breaks all my belongings. As I type this to you, he just broke my car window.

He blames me for his stuff that he breaks. He threw my phone to the ground. He tried to break everything.

He is a thick boy. He has thrown a pole at my arm and bruised it.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Felicia, and thanks for telling your story here. I know it must be very frightening and frustrating for you, with your son behaving like this. I will try to help.

Your title, "Why Me?" sounds like you see yourself as a helpless victim to his actions. I know you feel that way, as I think anyone would, but the only way to help him and yourself is for you to get strong and smart about managing his behavior. You are the only hope he has, because the longer this goes on, the worse it will get.

I will refer you to all of the resources I know of. This is not something that's going to be quick or easy, Felicia. I hope you're willing to do the work necessary to take charge of your home and your son's behavior.

The main recommendation I have is the Total Transformation Program. This is exactly what you need. I believe in it so much that I have become an affiliate with Legacy Publishing, that produces this CD program. I hope you will give this a try...there's even a way you can get if free!


I also suggest that you read all of these pages on this site:

Parenting skills for an angry child
How to use tough love
Children's emotional needs

I really hope you can get the help you need, Felicia. The situation you describe is very dangerous, as you know. Allowing it to continue gives the message to your son that his behavior is acceptable, and it's not. Please, for his sake and yours, claim your power and authority as a parent by using the resources I've recommended.

And believe in the goodness within your son. He's not a bad child, even though his behavior is so destructive. His anger is there for a reason, and you need to find out what that is, in order to help him.

And believe in yourself. You can do this.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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