Moving To Florida

by Anna

I'm saying goodbye to a home I've known for close to seven years now. That home is Savannah, with its old oak trees and Spanish moss lining the roads like giant guardians. I always feel so protected moving under them. The limbs reach across the road and touch each other until I can't really see where one tree ends and the other begins. I've been driving under this live canopy so long that it feels as if it has become a part of me. I will miss these old oaks.

Tim and I were going through our things in the closets to see what to keep and what to throw away. He was handing me the contents of the closet and I was putting them in different piles on the floor. I guess I was just absentmindedly doing this until he handed me our dog Ginger's old collar and leash. I stood there holding them and pressing them against my face. I could see little Ginger in my mind and my heart. Every time I took that leash out of the closet it meant that we would be going for a walk.

Ginger used to dance. Did I ever tell you that? She used to stand up on her hind legs and dance for the longest time. She did this when she was excited about going for a walk, when I was cooking dinner, or when we came home after being gone for awhile. She also used to do this for little children. She loved children so much. I can still hear the children laughing and saying, "Look, she's dancing".

Anyway, I stood there holding the collar and leash and I started to look around at our condo. I could see Ginger everywhere I looked. My memory could see her in the kitchen at my feet while I cooked dinner, in the living room on the chair she used to sit by me in, on the rug in front of the TV where she loved to lay, in the computer room, and in the sunroom. Ginger's memory lives in this home like a warm blanket covering everything with an old familiar feeling of love and family. She was the best family member I've ever had.

I've heard people say that it's hard to leave somewhere that you shared with someone else who isn't around anymore. I feel that way about this home. Tim and I went outside for a walk around the condo association. We went the same way that Ginger and I always went when we took our walks everyday. I haven't done this since Ginger died. We talked about all of the places that Ginger would stop to smell the flowers, the trees she loved to lay under, and the places that were her favorites.

This will be the first time we have made a move without our little Ginger. Why do I feel that I'm leaving her behind? Is it because of all of the memories of her here? This home holds my heart sometimes.

I have to remember that Ginger is a spirit now. If she wants to spiritually come with us, she is free to do so. I never want a person or animal to be with me out of force or duress. No relationship is good unless it mutually exists out of love and freedom. There are times that I can sense Ginger being here. I feel as if I can reach out and touch her sometimes. I'm not sure where she lives anymore. Does she spend time here, or does she live somewhere on the other side? All I know is that we don't end when we die.

I will say goodbye to this home. I will sit down and cry as much as I need to. I will go to those places in Savannah and on the Islands that we've always gone. I will feel a part of it again so that I can move through it and on into Florida. I'm sure that Florida will be just as sentimental to me. We have already been to the place in Florida that we are moving to, and I felt an odd familiarity there. I felt at home. I know that we will be alright. My son, his wife and my grandchild live in Florida, and I want to be able to see them more. My son said that I am the kind of mother that he wouldn't mind living right next door to him, but I have opted to live about an hour and a half away from him. I don't want to cramp his adult life too much. He is excited to see me when I visit him now, and I want to keep it that way.

I want Savannah and the Islands to know that I am grateful for the love that I've felt here. I am grateful for this beautiful place that I've called home for the last seven years. I am grateful for the memories that I will take with me. I am grateful for the healing that I've gone through while I've been here and for anything that I've learned from the people and the history.