Managing Anger
By Focusing Your Mind On The Good

The more you focus on something, the bigger it gets for you. This is one of the ways you work yourself into big anger--simply by focusing on that thing that drives you crazy.

Now you're going to learn how to shift your focus to the good in your life and your world. And you won't be nearly so angry when you do--as a matter of fact, you'll remember what really matters and who you really are in your good heart.

What Are You Focusing On?

This might be the most important question you ever ask yourself. Managing anger absolutely requires that you notice what you're thinking about. When you're focusing on what is good, right and working in your life, you just won't be nearly as angry.

Here are some things to think about:

• Where you pay your attention is the most important investment you'll ever make.


• You may not realize it, but you are literally creating your own reality by what you choose to focus on.


• What makes you the most angry is focusing on things that make you feel like a helpless victim.


• You have total freedom and responsibility when it comes to your attention and focus.

The longer you let yourself focus on, dwell on and obsess about what is bothering you, the more angry you will be. Managing anger requires that you free yourself from this trap of negative thinking that is fueling your rage.

Have you ever noticed that some problems just solve themselves? Think back over your life, and remember all of those things that have made you angry, and "driven you up the wall." How many of those problems just went away? How many of your fears never came true?

Shifting Your Focus Will Calm Your Anger

Right now, is there anything working in your life? Does anyone love you? Are you healthy? Do you have any money? Are there any activities you enjoy? I know you have a computer and you can read...and that is something to appreciate!

Managing anger is so much easier when you are remembering the good things in your life. It doesn't make your problem go away, it just puts it into perspective.

Here's what goes on in your brain:

• You're mad about something, and you focus on that almost all of the time, getting madder and madder.


• This sends a message to the fight or flight part of your brain that you're in an crisis, and even creates a life or death feeling. (Your behavior can go out of control at this point if you don't interrupt the cycle.)


• Then, you remember to shift your focus to what is good, right and working in your life.


• This sends a message to your brain that things are not really that bad.


• You start to calm down and breathe better, sending more oxygen to your brain.


• With more oxygen and blood flow to your brain, you think better, and make better decisions.

The benefits are clear to this method of managing anger and becoming your own best anger management resource. You are smarter and healthier, and you will be much kinder to others when you're focusing on the good in your life.

Now let's get focused on how you do it!

The Practical Power Of Positive Focusing

Here's an easy three step process called Goodfinding, that is simply a matter of finding and focusing on what is good, right and working in your past, present and future.

When you use this method of managing anger, you're literally re-training your brain out of the default negative habit of problem focus.

Okay, her's how you do it--it's a three-part journaling process, and you can watch a video that takes you through the step by step guide:

• First, write about what you're grateful for from your past. Review your entire life history, and think of all of the times you felt happiness, love, excitement, fulfillment and humor. Think of the times you experienced wonder, and great beauty. The more you do this, the easier it gets.


• Next, write about everything you appreciate in your present life. Focus on the possessions you love, the abundance in your life, the people who love you, your health and your opportunities.


• Finally, write about what you are looking forward to in your future.
  
  
  • Start by focusing on those things you know for sure will happen, like a ball game, a visit with friends, or an event you're planning to attend. Then go on and focus on those things that you want to happen.
  
  
  • That second part is where you actually begin to create your own reality. See yourself happy, healthy and having great relationships, and write about how you will feel when that happens, and how much you look forward to it.

Managing anger is not just a matter of controlling anger. It is also a matter of getting in touch with your good heart, and remembering who you really are inside.

You're a good person who wants to do the right thing, and that's why you're here. Keep up the good work!

Here's an audio CD program which you can download as an MP3 that will help you with managing anger by becoming a Goodfinder!

Return to anger management techniques.