Losing My Husband Last Month To Cancer

by Anonymous

My husband and I were married for 38yrs. I'm 57 he was 56 when he passed away June 12th 2012.

He was a strong proud man who packed garbage and worked six days a week. Last year he was out in the yard laying cement and he started itching like crazy on his right leg. That night he said he felt like he was getting the flu and went to bed early.


The next day he felt worse and started to run a low fever. Well, the third day his right leg was so swollen and red. Fourth day his leg was beginning to get these bubble looking things--I called them volcano's. My husband laid in bed for 12 days before our son in law could get him to the hospital.

We brought him to emergency. My husband would rather suffer than go to a Dr. In the emergency room, he saw a few specialists so we find out he had cellulitis which is a bacteria that attacks the tissues. He immediately was taken to surgery to start digging out some of the bacteria. He had surgery every other day for eight days.

They literally dig it out and left the wound open but bandaged. He almost lost his leg. Well things weren't healing the way they should be, so they put my husband through a cat scan only to find out he was in his last stage of liver cancer and he had masses in his stomach. They gave him less than a year to live.

He lived 13 months and I stayed in our room with him literally the entire time other that a few minutes. He fought till there was no more fighting. Watching the person you spent your life with and loved and went through bascially everything together and lose them is heartbreaking.

I had to sell our home very cheap to bury my husband and also buy a car. Ours had broke down 6 months prior to his death. He died a little over a month ago and the pressure of trying to find a place to live is overwhelming. I have a time limit to be out of our home of course.

I'm starting to come to reality now and its scary when you're facing that you are going to do everything on your own after all the years we were together. I can barely sleep and don't want to deal with anything. I know I have to though. After I find a place to call home and settle in I am going to join a support group.



Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. I am so sorry for your loss. Your husband sounds like a very good man, and I know it must hurt deeply to be without him, especially that you now have to face the challenge of finding a home.

I strongly encourage you to use some of the grieving techniques on this page, to help you move through your grief in a healthy way.

Also, it is very good that you plan to join a support group. I think that will really help you. Focus on your blessings, and remember all of the good and wonderful time you had with your husband as you move on into the new life you are creating for yourself.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission.