It Happened To Me Too

by Leslie
(US)

I dated my ex for 2 years and we had a child. He was good to me in a lot of ways, but we started to fight a lot and I broke up with him after he had threatened to hit me and then he pushed me down in front of my child.

He has since been trying to take my child and has physically assaulted me since the split, but got by with it. He is getting remarried soon and is teaching my son to call her mommy and I feel they are still trying to hurt me.

I don't know what to do and am in a lot of pain over the whole situation and it is affecting every aspect of my life.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Leslie, and thanks for telling your story here. Your situation does indeed sound very painful, and I can see why it would be very difficult for you.

I think the main things for you to focus on are grieving, letting go, and healing.

Here is what I recommend:

Do the 3 part journaling process described on this page. That will help you review your personal history, direct your anger, and begin shifting your focus to the good things in you and your life.

I also suggest that you look at all of the losses you have experienced, and be sure you have been through all of the stages of grief regarding each of those losses. With your divorce, you lost the dream of the good life and marriage you wanted. Also, you lost the freedom and comfort of being with your child on a full time basis. These are big losses, and they need to be grieved fully. On the page referenced above, you'll find a complete list of grieving techniques which I believe you can apply to your situation.


Also, I suggest you read each of these pages on relationships:

battered wife syndrome
quotes on relationships
relationship advice
letting go of a relationship

I think you'll find some benefit as well with this program on nurturing your inner child. It will guide you through a powerful emotional healing process that will help you to deal with the challenges that lie ahead of you.

I hope you will be able to use some of these processes to start realizing the good person that you are, and begin focusing on creating a good life for yourself.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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