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I Withold My Anger And I Don't Want To Explode

by Truly Serious
(London)

I'm a 28yr old man who is of a big size in weight and muscle. I find myself so slow to anger. I think maybe it's because I smoke weed.

There's a guy in question who ten yrs ago I allowed to rob me, which up to this day infuriates me. A couple days ago we had another incident where he approached me on a tempered level and through a short argument he punched me. Although I know I should have stood up for myself I didn't for some reason, and not because I felt he would beat me up--because I know due to my size I would do him damage and I have a feeling I would take it too far and beat him up and throw him over railings too, around a 10ft fall into a water steam type passage.


I am here right now fully enraged, thinking about nothing but revenge which I know ain't good. I think about doing damage to him and choking him which as I read and as I type, already may seem like I'm a time bomb, but I'm very calm.

I write poetry, work, and have high ambitions to build an empire. I just don't understand why I allow people to get away with things. I need help because I don't know how long it's gonna be before I see red and lash out, which I don't want to do.

I'm told I may have a dormant type of anger which could build up. Do you think I have a problem? If so can you help me?

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. You are smart and strong enough to not give into violence, which would only make your life worse. I think that's why you haven't let go and unleashed your rage on anyone. Standing up for yourself is one thing, and going to prison for assault or murder is something else.

The most important thing here is for you to take care of yourself and heal your anger, so that it doesn't cause you any problems that you can't solve.

I suggest you read this page about the angry man, which also describes a healthy man. Then do all of the exercises on this FAQ page. The idea here is that your anger is healthy, and you want to use it and express it in healthy ways.

Make up your mind that you're going to reach all of your goals, and don't let a robbery or the guy who robbed you stand in your way. Avoid being around him, and associate yourself with other good people like yourself who have ambitions and desires to do good things.

Believe in the goodness of your heart, and create the good life you choose for yourself.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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