I Try Not To Upset Her

by Len
(Hull, UK)

My partner suffers from depression and is undergoing a "Beating The Blues" program. As I don't fully understand her depression and what to do, I just shut up and stay out of the way.

This upsets her, and then words are said. She says that I need anger management Counseling to get myself sorted and help her get through her depression.

How can I be the kind of person that she puts on a pedestal if I can't understand her depression?

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Len, and thanks for telling your story here. First of all, it is not a good idea for anybody to be "on a pedestal" in a relationship. I would give up on that idea, and work toward mutual respect and love as equals, no none above or below.

I have a program called Healing Anger And Depression that you and your partner might find helpful.

She needs to take responsibility for her depression. You really can't help her with that, except by being a healthy person yourself.

Use these anger management techniques to control your anger better.

I have nine different web pages on depression, which you will find listed on my site map. It would be good for both of you to read those, as well as these two pages about relationships:

quotes on relationships
dealing with marital problems

Use the positive journaling exercises on this page (this will help your partner too) to create a more positive focus.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission.

P.P.S. If you got something of value here, We would also greatly appreciate it if you would provide a written testimonial about the site, Dr. DeFoore's help, or one of our products.