I Thought I Would Never Do This Again
I have been dealing with anger and abuse in all of my intimate relationships since I was 19 years old. I have received counseling help throughout the years to gain control of my anger and violent aggression towards men.
Until recently, I was under the impression that I could not commit another act of violence because I thought that I had gained control of this aspect of myself. Unfortunately, only 3 days ago I realized that I am still capable of hurting the man that I love the most.
And sadly due to my anger and my inability to control it, I have now lost him and have thrown away our future together. I am fully to blame for this abusive reaction though I do think that it is a sad shame that neither of us walked away before I reacted.
It is hard not to beat myself up over this and it is extremely hard to understand why I have chosen to act this way. I am deeply regretful and ashamed of how I have behaved. I wish I could turn back the clock and not have reacted as I did. Sadly I cannot do that.
I can only move forward, which is what brings me to this website. I need to take immediate action, so that I never ever repeat this mistake ever again. I have too much to lose and I just want to move up and grow from this horrible mistake.
So my question now is---what can I do now to ensure that I will never ever make this mistake again? How can I be so sure that I will not do this again to the people that I love and care deeply for?
I need answers and I need help ASAP.Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Fernandez, and thanks for telling your story here. It is very clear that you want to heal, and get to the point where you are no longer hurting those you love. That is very good.
If you follow my suggestions completely and thoroughly, you will get good results, and you may actually reach your goals.
Start by following all of the guidelines for journaling described on this page
. There are three journaling processes, and all three are essential.
Also, use these imagery processes for emotional healing
, to resolve emotional issues from your past. This is where you are actually addressing the underlying causes of your anger.
Believe in yourself, and the goodness of your heart, Fernandez. The reason you don't like the anger is because your true inner nature is good and kind. Use the above processes, and you will reconnect with and activate your inner goodness.
My very best to you,
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