I Stuck By Him For All Those Years And He Betrayed Me

by Anonymous

I was with a man who ended up in prison for armed robbery. He got 9 years. I stood by him for 6 years paying his lawyer's fees because he couldn't pay them because he was in jail. He said he would pay me back.

I got him 2 years off his sentence on appeal. I visited him every month, as the prison was a fair distance away--500kms. I did so much for him then found out 3 months ago that he had been seeing someone else for 2 years. He chose her.

It really hurt like hell, as I gave up so much for this man. I feel I sacrificed my child-bearing years for him. He knew I was giving up the chance to have kids to stand by him.

I just feel so cheated.

I have filed a civil lawsuit for the lawyer's fees because that was a loan.

I know he is not worth it and I don't want him back but I just feel so stupid for wasting my life. And I wonder how he could lead me on when he knew what years he was taking from me if he didn't love me.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. It is clear why you are angry and feeling cheated. You have every right and reason to feel what you feel. The question is, what are you going to do about them? That's why you wrote your story here, and I will try to help.

I think you were wise to file suit, as that probably helped you to feel a little better. Now let go of the outcomes, and focus on creating a better feeling life for yourself.


You gave all you gave to him because you are a good person, and because you felt love and devotion to him. That is all good, and no cause for regret there. Now it is time to use your goodness, loyalty and devotion to help yourself.

Use the three part journaling process on this page to review your past, manage your anger in the present, and begin shifting your focus to the good in you and the world around you. That is your healing, your recovery and the only revenge that makes any sense. Create a good life for you. You're the only one that can do that.

Use these imagery processes for emotional healing and this two part imagery process for positive mental rehearsal to resolve the issues from your past and pre-pave the future actions and interactions you choose.

You will also find this inner child CD to be very helpful with your healing and learning to love yourself, as well as these self esteem CDs. It is time for you to love yourself and put yourself first. Don't let anything stop you.

You can do this. Believe in the goodness in your heart. It is who you are.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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