I Need Help With Myself And My Relationships

by Kevin
(Michigan)

One day I will be extremely excited and happy even hyperactive. Then the next day I will be in sort of a state of depression and every little thing will set me off.

I am trying to help my best friend raise her two kids. They are wonderful kids that I want to adopt in the future. But lately I have wanted to cause harm to myself and to others, especially myself. I have been beating myself up because I lost everything to a woman that ran my life.

Now that I am no longer with her my problems did not go away. They actually may have gotten worse. I have debt to a lot of companies, I lost my car, my job and lost a lot of schooling. This all happened when I was with her.

Now I can't get a job because I have no car and I can't get a car cause I have no job. I have gained 50 lbs within 3 to 4 months and I have unemployment that isn't even going on the right job. If it would have, then I would have gotten back pay that would have bought me a car.

On top of that they aren't even giving me enough to really survive. My family is disappointed in me and my little sister that looked up to me is turning away from me. My friends don't act the same around me, and my best friend gets angry with me more often. She used to be attached to me at the hip.

Please I really need your help. I am going crazy and nothing is getting any better. What should I do and what is wrong with me?


Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Kevin, and thanks for telling your story here. I think you need growth and insight in two areas: self awareness and relationship healing.

First I recommend that you do all three journaling processes you will find on this page. The first step, "Trauma Writing" gives you a chance to review past influences and underlying issues behind your anger, the second gives you a safe outlet for expressing/releasing your anger on a regular basis, and the third journaling process helps you shift your focus to what's good, right and working in your life.

Second, I suggest that you read the following pages, and follow the recommendations you find there:

quotes on relationships
relationship advice
letting go of a relationship
dealing with marital problems
nurturing your inner child
build your self esteem

The bottom line here, Kevin, is to put your focus on getting emotionally and psychologically healthy yourself as a first priority, then working on improving your relationships.

You can do this. Believe in yourself and your good heart. Be your own best friend.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission to help you become your own best anger management resource.

P.P.S. If you got something of value here, we would also greatly appreciate it if you would provide a written testimonial about the site, Dr. DeFoore's help, or one of our products.