I Love My Mom But I Have Resentment Toward Her

by Gayle
(Brundidge, AL)

I am 51 yrs. old and my mom still treats me as if I was 12 yrs old. She did not raise me from the age of 12, she sent me to live with my grandmother. Before that she worked day and night and left me with this man that sexually abused me.

There is a lot of anger and resentment in me that really needs to heal for my sake and hers, because now she is living with me. All those feelings have surfaced and I am hurting very bad, almost to suicide.

How do I overcome resentment toward her and heal?

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Gayle, and thanks for telling your story here. I'm glad you want to heal and release your anger and resentment. I will try to help.

First, if it's not entirely necessary, it would be good if she could find somewhere else to live while you're going through your healing process. If that's not possible, you can still heal, but it will be a little harder with her in your house.

The three journaling processes on this page will be very helpful to you. After doing the first one, the "trauma writing" (which needs to include the sexual abuse and the neglect by your mother), use these imagery processes for emotional healing.

This will really help you, and you can go even further with your healing if you get a copy of our audio CD/download program called nurturing your inner child. This program will take you through an indepth healing process that will help you tremendously.

Do this for yourself, Gayle. At some point, when you're progressing well with your healing, you may choose to confront your mother about her part in what happened to you--or not, that is entirely up to you. But to live with her and say nothing, and try to hold all of that pain and anger inside, will continue to cause you problems on many levels.

Take these steps, and commit yourself to the process, and I think you'll get good results.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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