I Love My Daughter But Can't Seem To Show It
I am writing because I have 3 kids--a 1 year old, a 2 year old and a 6 year old. When my oldest was the only child everything was perfect. I would take her everywhere and do all kinds of things with her.
Now I can't even get myself to give her a real hug, a kiss or even say I love you. And with my other kids I am very affectionate. I feel that in a way I am emotionally abusive to her. I see myself screaming and name calling, and I know I am slowly pushing her really far away from me.
I realize all of this, and I always cry and say that the next day needs to be different, that I need to change and I can't. I want her to trust me and feel comfortable to talk to me, to just sit and watch TV together. But I can't make that happen and really want to! Please help!
A desperate motherResponse from Dr. DeFoore
Hello, and thank you for telling your story here. Something has happened between you and your daughter, and I will help you figure out what that is so that you can heal it.
Somehow, on a subconscious level, she is triggering an unresolved issue in you. In order to find out what that is, do the journaling processes described on this page
. By writing about all of your own personal trauma, whatever that is, you might discover why you feel the way you do toward your daughter.
Here are some questions for you:
1) Did you have conflict with your mother? Did she ever treat you the way you're treating your daughter? Write a full description of every aspect of your relationship with your mother.
2) Were you abused as a child? Your anger toward your daughter could be a rejection of the wounded part of yourself. Use these imagery processes for emotional healing
to resolve any abuse issues you may have.
Do all of the above exercises on a regular, daily basis, until you start feeling and showing love for your daughter.
Believe in yourself and love yourself.
My very best to you,
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